1 00:00:01,070 --> 00:00:04,970 07 The Naked Gun From The Files Of Police Squad - English 2 00:00:11,294 --> 00:00:14,297 [MAN CHANTING] 3 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,962 [ALL CHATTERING] 4 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:53,979 [MAN] Listen to me! Killing a few hostages is not sufficient! 5 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,686 The Americans must be made to suffer. 6 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:59,067 - We must humiliate them. - [MURMURING] 7 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,820 You do not go far enough, General Amin. 8 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:05,609 We must strip their entrails out and drag them from here to Damascus, 9 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,277 until they include us in the peace process. 10 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:09,490 [ALL MURMURING] 11 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:14,204 Nonsense! This solution is not bold enough for Libya. 12 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:18,246 I say wipe out Washington and New York. 13 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:22,042 What? And spoil three years of good public relations? 14 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:25,336 I have the Americans believing I am a nice guy. 15 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:29,006 In some of their polls, I'm more popular than their president. 16 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,970 [ALL CHATTERING] 17 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:36,560 Gentlemen! Gentlemen! This is getting us nowhere. 18 00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:40,101 If we do nothing else this week, 19 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,897 we must conceive at least one terrorist act 20 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,861 that will show all the world 21 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:49,868 that the United States, the great Satan, 22 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:53,702 is but a paper tiger, a weak nation, 23 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:58,335 a weak people, a people ripe for destruction. 24 00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:01,667 Cowards, no longer willing to fight. 25 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,047 Ahh! 26 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,883 [GRUNTS, GROANS] 27 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,430 [GROANS] 28 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,942 [SQUEAKING] 29 00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:24,603 I knew it! 30 00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:40,745 [GRUNTS, GROANS] 31 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:45,708 [LOUD CLANG] 32 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,005 Yeah! 33 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:52,798 [GROANS] 34 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,434 [MAN] Hey, who are you? 35 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,944 I'm Lieutenant Frank Drebin, Police Squad. 36 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,423 - [GROANS] - And don't ever let me 37 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,447 catch you guys in America! 38 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,607 [GRUNTS] 39 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,736 [FRANK YELLS] 40 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,872 [SIREN WAILING] 41 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,471 - Watch out! - Whoa! 42 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,890 [ALL YELLING] 43 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,603 [TIRES SCREECHING] 44 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,857 [WOMEN SCREAMING] 45 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,250 [PEOPLE SCREAM] 46 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:01,139 - [TIRES SCREECH] - [BELL RINGS] 47 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:45,437 [MAN 1] ...38, 39, 40. It's all here. 48 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,893 This completes our first shipment of heroin. 49 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,104 One hundred percent pure. 50 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:53,111 [MAN 2] Ah, it better be. All 40 kilos. 51 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,648 [man 1] The final shipment will be delivered in three days. 52 00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:58,784 - Then we'll expect payment. - [MAN 2] Don't worry. 53 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,599 Police! Throw down your guns! 54 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,456 Kill him. 55 00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:05,175 - [SIZZLES] - Ahh! 56 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,144 Oh, no! 57 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,899 [SCREAMS] 58 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:21,616 [SCREAMS] 59 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:46,888 [REPORTER] It's a great day for Americans everywhere. This man alone... 60 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,720 [CROWD CLAMOURING] 61 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,273 - There he is! - [WOMEN SCREAM] 62 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,239 No flowers, thank you. 63 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:04,902 Welcome home, Frank. Good work in Beirut. We all heard what you did. 64 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,991 Thank you, Ed. I want to know one thing: 65 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,155 Is it true what you wrote me about Victoria? 66 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,917 I'm afraid so, Frank. She just ran off with some guy. 67 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,794 They got married last week. 68 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:20,050 Then it's over. It's all over. All of this is meaningless. 69 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,256 I did it for her. I did everything for her. 70 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,929 And now she's gone. 71 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:29,184 And you came down here to get the hot story, didn't you? 72 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,720 Pictures of me to sell your lousy newspapers. 73 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,572 - Frank... - Sure, you think I'm a big hero, 74 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,598 the man of the hour, well... 75 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:40,316 Do any of you understand how a man can hurt inside? 76 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,526 Frank, they're not here for you. 77 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,942 Weird Al Yankovic is on the plane. 78 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:48,578 [SCREAMING, CHEERING] 79 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,291 What about the wedding? What was she wearing? 80 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,953 Don't torture yourself, Frank! Just put her out of your mind. 81 00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,590 I can't get her out of my mind. What about the guy? 82 00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:03,172 - Do you know anything about him? - Not much. 83 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:07,339 Just that he's an Olympic gymnast and it's the best sex she's ever had. 84 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:08,506 [TIRES SCREECH] 85 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:13,811 I trusted her and followed my heart. Foolishly, it seems. 86 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,311 I'm just gonna have to learn to forget. 87 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,074 That's why I took my vacation in Beirut, 88 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,979 to get her out of my mind, to find some peace. 89 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,652 It's not gonna be easy. 90 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:27,863 Everywhere I look, something reminds me of her. 91 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:32,330 Maybe it's just that cops and women don't mix. 92 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,581 What about Nordberg? I came as soon as I heard. 93 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,996 He's alive, Frank, though he's on life support. 94 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:42,382 Doctors say he's got a 50-50 chance of living, 95 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,838 though there's only a ten percent chance of that. 96 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,318 [MACHINES BEEPING] 97 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:11,991 Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband's arm. 98 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,201 [DOCTOR] Where would you like it sent? 99 00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:16,537 Oh Frank! I'm so glad you came! 100 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:19,043 Wilma, it's good to see you. I came as soon as I heard. 101 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,079 - Thank you, Frank. - You bet. 102 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:24,341 - Where's Nordberg? - He's right here. 103 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:28,254 Nordberg, it's me, Frank, your buddy. 104 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,217 - Oh! - Ah! 105 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:33,054 I'll get it! 106 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,560 [NORDBERG] Ah! 107 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,345 Get the switch on the bottom of the bed! 108 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,892 [NORDBERG GROANING] 109 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:46,655 Nordberg, it's me, Frank. Who did this to you? 110 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,815 [WHISPERING] I... love you. 111 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:52,778 I love you, too, Nordberg. Who were they? 112 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:57,582 - Ship... Boat... - That's right. Nordberg. A boat. 113 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,617 When you're better, we'll go sailing together, 114 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,878 on a boat, we'll take a cruise, just like last year. 115 00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,834 No... Drugs. 116 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:08,423 Hey, nurse, give this man some drugs! Quick! Can't you see he's in pain? 117 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,303 - Give him a shot, quickly! - No... 118 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:14,182 Heroin! Heroin, Frank! 119 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,684 [WHISPERING] Nordberg, that's a pretty tall order. 120 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,124 You're gonna have to give me a couple of days on that one. 121 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:21,222 [WILMA CRYING] 122 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:26,441 Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. 123 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:30,858 He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing? 124 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,617 It's hard to tell. 125 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,402 Could be a roving gang of thugs, 126 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:38,119 a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover... 127 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,282 [WILMA SHRIEKS] 128 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:40,792 Frank, get a hold of yourself! 129 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:45,129 A good cop, needlessly cut down and ambushed 130 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,165 by some cowardly hoodlums. 131 00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:50,632 - That's no way for a man to die. - [FRANK] You're right, Ed. 132 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,717 A parachute not opening, that's a way to die. 133 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,804 Getting caught in the gears of a combine, 134 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,934 having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. 135 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,112 That's the way I want to go. 136 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,810 [WILMA SHRIEKS] 137 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,646 [CRYING] Oh, Frank! Oh, this is terrible! 138 00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:09,153 Don't you worry, Wilma, your husband is going to be all right. 139 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:11,110 Don't you worry about anything. 140 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:16,324 Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind. 141 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,989 He's right, Wilma, but I wouldn't wait until the last minute 142 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,998 to fill out those organ donor cards. 143 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,830 [WILMA SHRIEKS] 144 00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:27,498 What I'm trying to say is, as soon as Nordberg is better, 145 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:29,337 he's welcome back at Police Squad. 146 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,672 Unless he's a drooling vegetable, 147 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,758 - but I think that's only common sense. - [WILMA SHRIEKS] 148 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,682 Wilma, can you think of any reason 149 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,094 that Nordberg was at the waterfront last night? 150 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,892 [SOBBING] No. 151 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:49,020 But I found this at home in a drawer. 152 00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:50,402 A photograph! 153 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:54,695 I Luv You out of Caracas. 154 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,369 A Panamanian ship. 155 00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:02,658 When Nordberg said I love you, he was telling you the name of the ship! 156 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:05,828 I realize that... now. 157 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:09,749 - We'd better check this out. - I want every available man on this. 158 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,541 I can't spare anybody, Frank. 159 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,382 You know we're in charge of security for Queen Elizabeth's visit. 160 00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:16,046 I'm short handed already. 161 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,931 Wilma, I promise you, whatever scum did this, 162 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,026 not one man on this force will rest for one minute 163 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,552 until he's behind bars. 164 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,919 - Now, let's grab a bite to eat. - Yeah, come on, Wilma. 165 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,897 [CAR HORNS HONK] 166 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:33,822 Due to the extraordinary efforts of some of our civic leaders, 167 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:38,577 Queen Elizabeth has included the city of Los Angeles 168 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,739 as one of the three cities she will visit during her American tour. 169 00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:46,622 Mayor Barkley, will the city hire additional security officers 170 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,707 for the police force during the Queen's visit? 171 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:54,092 We have placed the Queen's security in the hands of Police Squad, 172 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,844 a special division of the Police Department, 173 00:13:57,003 --> 00:14:00,507 represented here today by Lieutenant Frank Drebin. 174 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,387 [MUFFLED] Thank you, Your Honour. 175 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,634 [FRANK CONTINUES INAUDIBLY] 176 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,353 [MAN] Louder! 177 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,434 [MICROPHONE STATIC] 178 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:14,229 - [WOMAN] You can use my radio mic. - Thank you. 179 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:18,984 [COUGHS] 180 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,618 [SNORTS] 181 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:24,580 Thank you, Your Honour. Protecting the safety of the Queen 182 00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:29,210 is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. 183 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:33,374 For no matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, 184 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:37,635 as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts. 185 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,474 Uh, Thank you, Lieutenant Drebin. 186 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:48,059 Of course, we all have a stake in seeing that this portion 187 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,145 of the Queen's American goodwill tour 188 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,402 is completely protected. And we can all take pride 189 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,080 that the Queen has chosen our city to visit. 190 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,344 [AMPLIFIED UNZIPPING OVER P.A.] 191 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,149 [TRICKLING OVER P.A.] 192 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,363 [FRANK MOANS, SIGHS] 193 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,700 Indeed, it is for all the people, 194 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:11,165 who will be able to share in these, uh... celebrations... 195 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,329 [FRANK GRUNTS] 196 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:16,716 - Especially exciting... - [FRANK VOCALIZING, TRICKLING] 197 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,502 will be... the Queen's 198 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,505 public appearances. 199 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:28,849 [FRANK VOCALIZING, TRICKLING] 200 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,605 [FRANK VOCALIZING VIGOROUSLY] 201 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,232 [TRICKLING CONTINUES] 202 00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,978 [TRICKING STOPS] 203 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,397 Um, we also would like 204 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,737 [TRICKLING RESUMES] [FRANK VOCALIZING] 205 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,243 [FRANK WHISTLING] 206 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,154 - [TRICKLING CONTINUES] - [FRANK] Whoops! 207 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,537 [URINE SPLASHING ON FLOOR] 208 00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:48,757 - [FRANK] Uh-oh. - [CONTINUES URINATING] 209 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,455 [GRUNTS, GROANS] 210 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,210 [FRANK FARTS] 211 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,593 [FRANK] Ed and I drove down to the docks, 212 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,771 where Nordberg had been found floating face down in the water. 213 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:03,887 [MAN SCREAMS] 214 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:06,970 [FRANK] In a case where there are no leads, you have to start somewhere, 215 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,806 and that somewhere was the harbour area. 216 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:12,222 [MAN OVER BULLHORN] Please disperse. Please disperse. 217 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,390 There's nothing for you to see here. 218 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,605 Keep moving. 219 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,565 Where did they find Nordberg, Ed? 220 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,730 Right out there, Frank. Do you wanna take a dinghy? 221 00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:23,150 No, I took care of that at the press conference. 222 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,569 Doesn't make sense, you know. 223 00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:29,740 Good policeman, bright future... then something like this happens. 224 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,749 He was found by the night watchman. 225 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,878 Wed better do some checking around. I'm gonna talk to the harbourmaster. 226 00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:36,913 I'll walk around the docks, take a snoop. 227 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:46,180 - Yeah? - Lieutenant Drebin, Police Squad. 228 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,842 Oh, I remember you, Drebin. What do you want? 229 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:52,603 I wanna ask some questions. Are you familiar with that face? 230 00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:55,766 I don't know. My memory ain't so great. 231 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:59,232 Oh, yeah? Maybe this'll refresh your memory. 232 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,455 - I don't know, still kind of hazy. - How about this? 233 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:02,748 Yeah. I remember him. I used to see him around. 234 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,274 Why do you want to know? 235 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,193 - I can't tell you that. - Maybe this'll help. 236 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,830 - I really don't think I should. - Still don't think so? 237 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:13,207 All right, his name is Nordberg, he's a cop. 238 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,164 - He was no cop, he was dealing H. - What? 239 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:16,428 I'm telling you, he was dirty! 240 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:19,251 You snivelling scum! I ought to run you in right now! 241 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,086 All right, he worked at Ludwig's Shipping. 242 00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,009 He tried to push something on one of my boys. 243 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,685 What are you gonna do about it, copper? 244 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,303 Why should I tell you? 245 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:29,511 - Maybe this'll help. - I still don't think I should tell you. 246 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,302 Can you spot me 20? How about now? 247 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,228 All right, I'm going down to Ludwig's office. 248 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,389 I'll find out if you're telling the truth. 249 00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,486 [FRANK] Vincent Ludwig presided over one of the largest 250 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,021 corporations in the city. 251 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:46,407 A respected business man and civic leader, the mayor had chosen him 252 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,240 to be the chairman of the Queen's reception committee. 253 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,995 Now I was getting ready to question him 254 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:53,531 about drugs and attempted murder on his own docks. 255 00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:54,870 [TIRES SCREECH] 256 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:02,632 - Mr. Ludwig? - Yes? 257 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,963 Lieutenant Drebin to see you, sir. 258 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,214 Show him in. 259 00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:17,556 - Lieutenant. - The feeling is mutual. 260 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:21,477 Nice to meet you, too. Uh, Cuban? 261 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:24,862 Uh, no, Dutch-Irish. My father was from Wales. 262 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,022 Oh. 263 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,440 Uh, sit down. 264 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,860 Magnificent office you have here, Mr. Ludwig. 265 00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,278 Thank you, Lieutenant. 266 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:35,824 Most objects I have collected over a period of many years. 267 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:40,416 The Gainsborough, Ming vases. Priceless! 268 00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:45,459 They are objects which I feel reflect my personality, 269 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,753 like the Japanese fighting fish. 270 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,046 Beautiful, graceful, elegant, 271 00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:53,721 yet single-minded of purpose 272 00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,978 and deadly when it finds what it wants. 273 00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:02,233 This particular one is valued at over $20,000. 274 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,564 A luxury item, to be certain, 275 00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:09,028 but as you can see, I am a man who appreciates the finer things in life. 276 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:13,195 Oh, this! This is a rare Samurai pen, 277 00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:16,080 a gift from Emperor Hirohito. 278 00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:20,209 Unbreakable. Impervious to everything but water. 279 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:25,215 - Its value is beyond estimation. - That's fascinating. 280 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,375 But I'm sure you didn't pay me this visit 281 00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:30,215 to hear a lecture on fine art, Lieutenant. 282 00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:33,097 To what do I owe the hon our? 283 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:37,010 I'm investigating the attempted murder of one of your dock workers 284 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:42,440 a man named Nordberg, a police officer. 285 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,234 He's still alive, then? 286 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,317 He was shot six times. 287 00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:51,232 Fortunately, the bullets missed every vital organ, 288 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:53,618 and the salt water preserved him until he was found. 289 00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:55,949 So they were able to... 290 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,410 So they were able to get him to the hospital in time? 291 00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:02,452 Yes, he's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle. 292 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:05,997 Well, this certainly comes as a shock to me, Lieutenant. 293 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:08,165 But as you know, I am not the kind of man 294 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,334 who takes this type of thing lightly. 295 00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,645 And there is no room in my organization 296 00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:12,716 Ahh! 297 00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,973 For any type of criminal activity. Look out there. 298 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:19,636 A vast commercial development built by me. 299 00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:23,227 Do you have any idea what was out there just five years ago? 300 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,857 [SCREAMING] Yeah! 301 00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:27,484 You bet you do. Orange groves! 302 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,066 Acres of them. As far as the eye could see. 303 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,573 But now, of course, that land is able to generate 304 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,736 ten times the amount of profit per square foot. 305 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,489 Are you all right, Lieutenant? 306 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:42,078 Here, let me get you some Kleenex. 307 00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:45,495 Has this officer... 308 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,709 What's his name? Nordberg? 309 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:50,751 Been able to tell you anything? 310 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:56,507 Uh, well, of course, he hasn't been able to tell us a thing so far, 311 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,551 but as soon as he regains consciousness, 312 00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:02,186 we'll see if he can still play the guitar. 313 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:04,679 I beg your pardon? 314 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:07,228 Uh, I've taken up too much of your time already. 315 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,519 I'd like to look at your employment records now, 316 00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,187 and speak to someone in Personnel. 317 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,606 - If you don't mind, of course. - Of course. 318 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,734 Dominique, will you please send in Ms. Spencer. 319 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:17,902 [DOMINIQUE] Yes, sir. 320 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:21,322 As you know, I am quite busy making last minute arrangements 321 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:22,991 for the royal visit, 322 00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:26,707 but I'll have my assistant provide you with anything you need. 323 00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:29,588 You've been very cooperative. I'll make a note of that in my report. 324 00:21:29,747 --> 00:21:31,124 My pleasure. 325 00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:39,174 Ah, Ms. Spencer, this is Lieutenant Frank Drebin from Police Squad. 326 00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:43,056 Hello... Mr. Drebin. 327 00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:45,554 Hello. 328 00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:53,186 [GRUNTS] 329 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,735 [THUDDING] 330 00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:13,299 [FRANK] Her hair was the color of gold in old paintings. 331 00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:17,465 She had a full set of curves 332 00:22:17,628 --> 00:22:21,053 and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day. 333 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:26,433 She was giving me a look I could feel in my hip pocket. 334 00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:31,605 Yep, this was starting to get interesting. 335 00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:39,484 Nice beaver. 336 00:22:39,650 --> 00:22:42,574 Thank you. I just had it stuffed. 337 00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:44,454 Let me help you with that. 338 00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:49,911 This should be what you're looking for, Lieutenant. 339 00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:53,172 The shipping and employment records for Pier 32. 340 00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:54,582 Thank you. 341 00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:58,260 I've heard police work is dangerous. 342 00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:00,763 It is, that's why I carry a big gun. 343 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,970 Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally? 344 00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:05,476 I used to have that problem. 345 00:23:06,427 --> 00:23:07,724 What did you do about it? 346 00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:11,311 I just think about baseball. 347 00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:16,312 That's a honey of an ankle-bracelet you have there. 348 00:23:16,478 --> 00:23:18,276 Did it slip down there again? 349 00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:22,033 Yes, well... I'll go through this as fast as I can 350 00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:24,160 and get them back to you tomorrow. 351 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,948 That would be fine, but there's no rush. 352 00:23:27,114 --> 00:23:28,912 I mean, whenever you're through. 353 00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:33,204 Thank you. I wish there was some way I could repay you. 354 00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:35,307 How about dinner? I know this little out-of-the-way place 355 00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:37,550 that serves great Viking food. 356 00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:40,715 That's quite a tempting offer, Lieutenant, 357 00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:43,222 but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to get my rest this evening, 358 00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:44,848 tomorrow being Arbor Day and all. 359 00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:47,760 Of course. Perhaps some other time. 360 00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:51,431 - How about a rain check? - Well, let's just stick to dinner. 361 00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:54,771 Thank you for your help, Ms. Spencer. 362 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,528 My pleasure. 363 00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:02,191 - Well? - Mr. Ludwig, you startled me! 364 00:24:02,358 --> 00:24:04,326 I'm sorry, my dear. 365 00:24:04,485 --> 00:24:07,489 I just wanted to know if you got the lieutenant what he wanted? 366 00:24:07,655 --> 00:24:09,783 Yes, I gave him copies of the files for Pier 32. 367 00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:12,372 Good. That's good. 368 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:17,631 He is an intriguing fellow, this Lieutenant Drebin, don't you think? 369 00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:21,465 [SCOFFS] Well, I don't know. I've only just met him. 370 00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:23,425 He seems very nice. 371 00:24:23,587 --> 00:24:26,716 Jane, I realize this is an unusual request, 372 00:24:26,882 --> 00:24:30,227 but if there is something illegal going on in this company, 373 00:24:30,386 --> 00:24:34,016 I need to know everything about it, so we can root out any wrongdoers. 374 00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:36,149 That's why I want you to 375 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:40,654 well, to get to know Lieutenant Drebin a little better, 376 00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:42,736 find out what he knows. 377 00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:45,538 Oh, Mr. Ludwig, don't you think this is best handled by the police? 378 00:24:45,693 --> 00:24:49,072 We are letting the police handle it, my dear! 379 00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:51,741 But this company needs to know the facts quickly, 380 00:24:51,907 --> 00:24:54,251 before anything gets into the newspapers. 381 00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:58,790 Don't forget, I have a responsibility to the stockholders. 382 00:25:00,082 --> 00:25:02,756 Well... if you put it that way... 383 00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:06,722 - Yes, I'll do my best. - That's better. 384 00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:12,265 [INHALES] I'm sure you will. 385 00:25:16,890 --> 00:25:18,642 [TIRES SCREECH] 386 00:25:18,809 --> 00:25:21,779 [FRANK] It was about 4:00pm when I returned to Police Squad. 387 00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:25,574 I figured I'd stop by and see what the lab boys 388 00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:27,827 had come up with on Nordberg's jacket, 389 00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:29,862 the one they'd found on the docks. 390 00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:34,120 You can tell a lot from fibre samples if they aren't too wet. 391 00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:37,253 And I was hoping in this case we wouldn't come up dry... 392 00:25:37,411 --> 00:25:38,458 Hey, look out! 393 00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:40,668 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 394 00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:42,458 Police! Halt! 395 00:25:42,624 --> 00:25:44,217 [SCREAMING CONTINUES] 396 00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:53,260 Anybody catch the license plate? 397 00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:56,726 Anybody get a look at the driver? 398 00:25:57,639 --> 00:25:59,107 [WOMAN SCREAMING] Get out of the way! 399 00:26:01,351 --> 00:26:04,571 Take the names of everybody here for questioning. 400 00:26:04,938 --> 00:26:08,613 I've got to get... inside. 401 00:26:10,277 --> 00:26:11,904 [CROWD CLAMOURING] 402 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,959 Hi, Ed, Ted. You got those fibre samples yet? 403 00:26:18,118 --> 00:26:20,667 - Sh-sh! We got some action out here. - What's happening? 404 00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:23,332 [TED] We're testing that new anti-graffiti wall. 405 00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:25,225 [ED] It looks like we've got customers. 406 00:26:25,334 --> 00:26:27,336 It's set to react when the spray hits the sensors. 407 00:26:27,503 --> 00:26:29,346 [CHATTERING] 408 00:26:29,713 --> 00:26:31,135 [ALL REACTING] 409 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,142 [FRANK] You've done it again. Mazel tov! 410 00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:37,521 Good work, Ted. What will you lab boys think of next? 411 00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:39,602 Now that you mention it, 412 00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:41,938 here's something we developed only yesterday. 413 00:26:42,768 --> 00:26:45,362 To the casual observer, an ordinary shoe. 414 00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:49,367 But in actuality... it makes quite a handy weapon. 415 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:52,699 And everything a cop in the field would need. 416 00:26:52,861 --> 00:26:54,863 We call it the Swiss Army shoe. 417 00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:56,998 That's great, Ted. What about the fibre samples? 418 00:26:57,157 --> 00:26:59,626 Uh, let me just show you one more thing, Frank. 419 00:26:59,785 --> 00:27:01,958 You see these cufflinks I'm wearing? 420 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,714 They're not just cufflinks. 421 00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:06,796 Each one fires a single pin-sized dart, 422 00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:08,728 that knocks out your victim for a few minutes, 423 00:27:08,752 --> 00:27:09,969 but does no permanent damage. 424 00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:12,348 - Here, let me demonstrate on Ed. - Huh? 425 00:27:14,341 --> 00:27:17,140 [GROANS] Ted! Why? 426 00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:21,891 Don't worry. He'll be up and around in no time. 427 00:27:22,057 --> 00:27:23,604 Why don't you take a pair, Frank? 428 00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:26,486 Well, actually, I could use another pair of cufflinks. 429 00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:28,067 Good, I think you'll like them. 430 00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:30,949 - You want this, chief? - Yes, thank you, Al. 431 00:27:31,108 --> 00:27:33,076 There's something on the side of your mouth, Al. 432 00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:36,830 No, no, the other side. 433 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:40,835 As you requested, Frank, we took some fibre samples from Nordberg's jacket. 434 00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:43,545 I'm afraid it doesn't look good. 435 00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:46,298 - What do you mean? - Take a look for yourself. 436 00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:53,051 - I can't see anything. - Use your open eye, Frank. 437 00:27:54,923 --> 00:27:56,846 Oh, yeah, I can see it now. 438 00:27:57,009 --> 00:28:00,479 At first glance, it would appear to be the normal cotton fibres. 439 00:28:00,637 --> 00:28:02,907 When we focused in closer, we discovered a fine, white powder. 440 00:28:02,931 --> 00:28:04,399 - [CLICKING] - [GLASS BREAKING] 441 00:28:04,558 --> 00:28:07,232 We tested it. Pure heroin. 442 00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:10,398 How well do you know Nordberg? 443 00:28:10,564 --> 00:28:13,943 We were partners for nine years and he's my best friend. 444 00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:17,613 I know, Frank, but we can't allow personal feelings to get in the way. 445 00:28:17,779 --> 00:28:19,174 Are you saying that Nordberg is...? 446 00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:22,293 I'm telling you that the Queen arrives here the day after tomorrow. 447 00:28:22,451 --> 00:28:25,455 If the press should pick this up, with Nordberg still part of the force, 448 00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:28,124 it could be embarrassing to the police and the city. 449 00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:31,669 I'm sorry, Frank. I'm giving you 24 hours to clear Nordberg. 450 00:28:43,096 --> 00:28:45,064 - Mr. Ludwig? - Yes? 451 00:28:45,224 --> 00:28:49,445 - A Mr. Pahpshmir is here. - Show him in. 452 00:28:56,985 --> 00:28:58,612 Is there something wrong, Mr. Ludwig? 453 00:29:00,155 --> 00:29:01,828 No, no, it's nothing. 454 00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:05,335 - Then may we get down to business? - Certainly. Please have a seat. 455 00:29:06,328 --> 00:29:09,377 I can carry out your request. 456 00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:13,919 - My price is 20 million dollars. - Your price is not a problem. 457 00:29:15,504 --> 00:29:18,633 But there is concern on the part of those I represent, 458 00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:21,177 that you would be able to 459 00:29:21,343 --> 00:29:23,766 complete so difficult a task. 460 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:27,858 Tell me, Mr. Pahpshmir, 461 00:29:28,016 --> 00:29:32,112 in all the world, who is the most effective assassin? 462 00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:37,076 Well, I would think anyone who manages to conceal 463 00:29:37,234 --> 00:29:38,781 his identity as an assassin. 464 00:29:38,944 --> 00:29:44,371 Yes, but there is an even more ideal assassin. 465 00:29:45,993 --> 00:29:49,247 One who doesn't know he is an assassin. 466 00:29:50,330 --> 00:29:52,879 - Care for some tea? - Yes, please. 467 00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:56,295 Dominique, service for two, please. 468 00:29:58,088 --> 00:29:59,556 [BEEPING] 469 00:30:07,764 --> 00:30:10,517 I must kill Pahpshmir. 470 00:30:10,684 --> 00:30:12,482 [GUN CLICKING] 471 00:30:18,608 --> 00:30:20,861 Will that be with cream and sugar, sir? 472 00:30:21,028 --> 00:30:22,280 Mr. Pahpshmir? 473 00:30:26,074 --> 00:30:27,246 Cream only, please. 474 00:30:29,244 --> 00:30:32,418 - Oh! There's a gun on the floor, sir! - Just leave it there. 475 00:30:32,581 --> 00:30:34,049 It's all right, Dominique. 476 00:30:34,207 --> 00:30:36,301 - The tea, please. - Of course, sir. 477 00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:43,767 Tell me, Mr. Pahpshmir, have you ever seen sensory-induced hypnosis? 478 00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:45,848 I think I just have. 479 00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:49,894 But how will you get her near the target? 480 00:30:50,057 --> 00:30:52,185 I doubt if it will be her. 481 00:30:53,060 --> 00:30:56,564 Good secretaries are so hard to find these days. 482 00:30:56,730 --> 00:30:58,448 And it seems to me 483 00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:04,029 anyone can be an assassin. 484 00:31:06,239 --> 00:31:07,411 [TIRES SCREECH] 485 00:31:07,574 --> 00:31:09,576 [FRANK] I had 24 hours to come up with something 486 00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:12,121 that would clear my good friend's name. 487 00:31:12,287 --> 00:31:13,288 [MEN YELL] 488 00:31:13,455 --> 00:31:16,055 I decided to return to the hospital with Ludwig's shipping records 489 00:31:16,124 --> 00:31:17,724 to see if I could jog Nordberg's memory. 490 00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:21,923 Oh, Dr. Alford, I have Mrs. Kepley's chart, if you're ready to go over it. 491 00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:24,387 I'll be with you when I've finished with Mr. Nordberg. 492 00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:25,971 Yes, doctor. 493 00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:31,773 [BEEPS] 494 00:31:32,474 --> 00:31:34,118 I'll have you out of here in a couple of... 495 00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:35,735 [BEEPING] 496 00:31:41,274 --> 00:31:42,901 I'd like to see Officer Nordberg. 497 00:31:43,068 --> 00:31:44,911 All right, I'll need you to sign in... 498 00:31:45,070 --> 00:31:46,367 Wait a minute! 499 00:31:46,530 --> 00:31:48,716 Where's the police officer who was on guard at that door? 500 00:31:48,740 --> 00:31:50,993 Lieutenant Drebin called and sent him home. 501 00:31:51,159 --> 00:31:52,331 Lieutenant Drebin? 502 00:31:52,494 --> 00:31:58,092 I must kill Nordberg. 503 00:31:58,250 --> 00:32:01,595 Drebin, Police Squad! Let go of that pillow! 504 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,014 [GROANING] 505 00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:09,056 [NORDBERG MOANS] 506 00:32:16,518 --> 00:32:17,815 [FRANK] Ah! 507 00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:20,447 [NORDBERG MOANS] 508 00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:26,866 - [YELLS OUT] - [CAR HORN HONKS] 509 00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:29,031 Hey! 510 00:32:30,824 --> 00:32:32,542 Medical emergency! 511 00:32:36,538 --> 00:32:37,710 [CAR HORN HONKS] 512 00:32:40,375 --> 00:32:42,218 Drebin, Police Squad. 513 00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:44,054 Follow that black car! 514 00:32:45,881 --> 00:32:47,975 The car! Follow that car! 515 00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:51,728 Stephanie, check your mirror. Signal. 516 00:32:51,887 --> 00:32:53,560 Now, pull into traffic. 517 00:32:55,015 --> 00:32:56,392 [TIRES SCREECH] 518 00:32:57,476 --> 00:32:59,649 Try and ease off on the brake. 519 00:33:01,855 --> 00:33:05,985 - [INSTRUCTOR] Give it a little gas. - I know a shortcut. Turn left here! 520 00:33:09,237 --> 00:33:11,740 - There he is! - [INSTRUCTOR] Easy! 521 00:33:22,083 --> 00:33:23,084 [SCREAMING] 522 00:33:23,251 --> 00:33:24,878 [TIRES SCREECHING] 523 00:33:26,713 --> 00:33:28,386 Turn right! Follow him to the right! 524 00:33:28,548 --> 00:33:32,473 It's OK. Normally, you would not be going 65 525 00:33:32,636 --> 00:33:34,855 down the wrong way of a one way street. 526 00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:37,645 - [HORN HONKS] - Ahh! 527 00:33:37,807 --> 00:33:39,275 Apply the brakes. 528 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,437 Now put it in reverse. 529 00:33:49,903 --> 00:33:54,750 - You dumb broad! - Stephanie, gently extend your arm. 530 00:33:56,284 --> 00:33:58,662 Extend your middle finger. 531 00:34:02,541 --> 00:34:05,545 - Very good. Well done. - There he is! 532 00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:07,508 Go for it, Stephanie! 533 00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:21,985 [HONKS HORN] 534 00:34:27,107 --> 00:34:28,199 [YELLING] 535 00:34:34,781 --> 00:34:37,409 [SCREAMING] 536 00:34:43,915 --> 00:34:47,260 Oh no! 537 00:34:51,506 --> 00:34:53,150 - [CROWD CLAMOURING] - [FIREWORKS EXPLODING] 538 00:34:53,174 --> 00:34:55,142 Excuse me. Excuse me. 539 00:34:55,302 --> 00:34:58,681 All right, move on! Nothing to see here! 540 00:34:58,847 --> 00:35:01,350 Please disperse! 541 00:35:01,516 --> 00:35:04,395 Nothing to see here. Please! 542 00:35:06,688 --> 00:35:10,568 [FRANK] The attempt on Nordberg's life left me shaken and disturbed. 543 00:35:10,734 --> 00:35:13,362 And all the questions kept coming up over and over again, 544 00:35:13,528 --> 00:35:16,122 like bubbles in a case of club soda. 545 00:35:17,115 --> 00:35:19,368 Who was this character in the hospital? 546 00:35:19,534 --> 00:35:23,289 Why was he trying to kill Nordberg, and for whom? 547 00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:26,208 Did Ludwig lie to me? I didn't have any proof, 548 00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:29,924 but somehow, I didn't entirely trust him, either. 549 00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:33,215 Why was the I Luv You not listed in Ludwig's records? 550 00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:36,055 And if it was, did he know about it? 551 00:35:36,217 --> 00:35:37,890 And if he didn't, who did? 552 00:35:38,053 --> 00:35:39,054 [BIRDS SQUAWKING] 553 00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,018 And where the hell was I? 554 00:35:44,392 --> 00:35:46,394 It was almost midnight when I got to my door. 555 00:35:46,561 --> 00:35:49,735 I just wanted a glass of Bosco and then slip under my blankets. 556 00:35:49,898 --> 00:35:52,993 But my night was just about to begin. 557 00:36:26,309 --> 00:36:28,812 [FRANK GRUNTS] 558 00:36:32,107 --> 00:36:33,404 You're late. 559 00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:38,284 That depends on what I'm late for. 560 00:36:38,446 --> 00:36:40,619 You said we should have dinner sometime. 561 00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:44,374 Tonight became sometime. 562 00:36:45,995 --> 00:36:47,542 I'm boiling a roast. 563 00:36:50,375 --> 00:36:52,798 How hot and wet do you like it? 564 00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:56,966 Very hot and awfully wet. 565 00:36:58,383 --> 00:37:00,977 You seem to know your way around a kitchen. 566 00:37:02,262 --> 00:37:04,481 I'm just as handy in other rooms of the house. 567 00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:07,942 That shirt looks familiar. 568 00:37:08,101 --> 00:37:11,731 It's yours. I didn't want to get stained or wrinkled. 569 00:37:12,814 --> 00:37:15,658 At least... not yet. 570 00:37:18,820 --> 00:37:22,950 Do you mind if I slip into something more comfortable? 571 00:37:29,247 --> 00:37:31,716 There. That's better. 572 00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:35,428 I hope you've brought your appetite. 573 00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:38,761 I've brought everything. 574 00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:41,426 Well, then, dig in. 575 00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:43,186 [THUNDER RUMBLES] 576 00:37:46,347 --> 00:37:50,727 Interesting. Almost as interesting as the photographs I saw today. 577 00:37:50,894 --> 00:37:53,317 I was young. I needed the work. 578 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,858 No, no, they were taken at Ludwig's docks. 579 00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:59,528 A ship came in, a Panamanian ship. It wasn't on Ludwig's records. 580 00:38:00,987 --> 00:38:02,455 Probably an oversight. 581 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,834 How is your... meat? 582 00:38:09,662 --> 00:38:11,289 You be the judge of that. 583 00:38:15,251 --> 00:38:16,719 Mmm. 584 00:38:17,796 --> 00:38:19,548 [GIGGLES] Mmm. 585 00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:22,137 I've got nine more. 586 00:38:27,055 --> 00:38:28,523 Have you seen that ship? 587 00:38:28,681 --> 00:38:31,275 I don't know. It doesn't look like one of ours. 588 00:38:31,434 --> 00:38:33,114 But then again, we deal with so many ships. 589 00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:36,565 Has Officer Nordberg been able to, um... tell you anything? 590 00:38:36,731 --> 00:38:40,702 No, there was another attempt on his life. He's back in a coma. 591 00:38:40,860 --> 00:38:45,081 That's terrible! This world is such a violent place. 592 00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:47,242 If it wasn't, I'd be out of a job. 593 00:38:47,408 --> 00:38:49,911 I'd be back on the circuit, riding motocross. 594 00:38:50,078 --> 00:38:52,877 But I'd give it all up tomorrow to live in a world without crime. 595 00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:55,042 That's beautiful. 596 00:38:59,045 --> 00:39:01,594 This is all happening too fast. 597 00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:08,597 - [SIGHS] I've been hurt before. - I'm sorry. 598 00:39:10,974 --> 00:39:12,567 I'd known her for years. 599 00:39:12,725 --> 00:39:14,898 We used to go to all the police functions together. 600 00:39:15,061 --> 00:39:19,737 Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. 601 00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:22,319 I think she had her music. 602 00:39:22,485 --> 00:39:26,456 She'd hung out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. 603 00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:30,118 I don't recall her playing an instrument or being able to carry a tune. 604 00:39:30,285 --> 00:39:33,630 Yet she was on the road 300 days out of the year. 605 00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:36,462 In fact, I bought her a harp for Christmas. 606 00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:38,843 She asked me what it was. 607 00:39:41,296 --> 00:39:42,593 It's the same old story. 608 00:39:42,755 --> 00:39:46,430 Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy 609 00:39:46,593 --> 00:39:49,563 boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl 610 00:39:49,721 --> 00:39:51,644 girl dies in a tragic blimp accident 611 00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:53,649 over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day. 612 00:39:55,184 --> 00:39:58,063 - Goodyear? - No, the worst. 613 00:39:58,229 --> 00:39:59,981 [WHIMPERING] Poor dear! 614 00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:06,788 Now, now, I don't want to upset you. 615 00:40:06,946 --> 00:40:08,914 Frank, it's not that. 616 00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:12,335 Why did you have to be so wonderful? 617 00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:18,634 - There's something I ought to tell you. - No! No need to tell me anything. 618 00:40:18,791 --> 00:40:21,670 What's in the past doesn't matter anyway. 619 00:40:21,836 --> 00:40:23,258 Maybe... 620 00:40:23,963 --> 00:40:27,513 Maybe we're just two lonely souls who have found each other. 621 00:40:32,555 --> 00:40:34,557 Funny face. 622 00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:55,913 I want you to know, I... practice safe sex. 623 00:40:56,746 --> 00:40:57,963 So do I. 624 00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:03,878 [RUBBER SQUEAKS] 625 00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:14,897 [PETER NOONE I'M INTO SOMETHING GOOD] 626 00:41:50,591 --> 00:41:52,764 [CROWD CHEERING] 627 00:42:31,632 --> 00:42:33,851 I had a wonderful day, Frank. 628 00:42:34,010 --> 00:42:35,978 I can't believe we just met yesterday. 629 00:42:37,305 --> 00:42:39,182 You really mean that, Jane? 630 00:42:39,348 --> 00:42:42,648 You're not just saying it, because we exchanged bodily fluids? 631 00:42:42,810 --> 00:42:46,155 No, I really mean it. You're very special. 632 00:42:46,856 --> 00:42:49,905 - Can I interest you in a nightcap? - No, thank you, I don't wear them. 633 00:42:50,068 --> 00:42:52,947 Actually, I'm on duty. We're on stakeout tonight. 634 00:42:53,112 --> 00:42:56,616 But I'll be thinking about you. I'll call you tomorrow. 635 00:42:58,284 --> 00:42:59,957 OK. 636 00:43:00,161 --> 00:43:02,710 [PETER NOONE I'M INTO SOMETHING GOOD] 637 00:43:05,833 --> 00:43:07,756 Good night! 638 00:43:18,805 --> 00:43:21,775 I'm telling you, the answer's up there in Ludwig's office. 639 00:43:21,933 --> 00:43:24,857 Call it what you will, a hunch, women's intuition. 640 00:43:25,019 --> 00:43:27,021 Ludwig knows a lot more than he's telling us. 641 00:43:27,188 --> 00:43:30,783 A hunch won't stand up in court, Frank. Where are your hard facts? 642 00:43:30,942 --> 00:43:33,115 Look, he's the only one outside of ourselves 643 00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:35,120 who knew that Nordberg was still alive. 644 00:43:35,279 --> 00:43:39,659 Next thing we know, some thug tries to knock Nordberg off in the hospital. 645 00:43:39,826 --> 00:43:44,798 That may be. But breaking into Ludwig's office is taking a big chance. 646 00:43:45,498 --> 00:43:46,624 I know. 647 00:43:46,791 --> 00:43:49,019 You could take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street 648 00:43:49,043 --> 00:43:52,513 or sticking your face in a fan. Look, there he is. 649 00:43:57,468 --> 00:44:00,563 All right, just trust me on this, Ed. I know I'm right. 650 00:44:00,721 --> 00:44:02,598 OK, but be careful. 651 00:44:02,765 --> 00:44:05,046 You get a good night's sleep. I'll see you in the morning. 652 00:44:12,024 --> 00:44:13,401 [ELEVATOR DINGS] 653 00:44:57,653 --> 00:44:59,121 Bingo! 654 00:45:15,213 --> 00:45:17,307 [PIANO PLAYS RAGTIME] 655 00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:49,255 20,000,000 deposited, Omani Bank, Zurich, 656 00:45:49,413 --> 00:45:51,757 upon proof of Queen's death. 657 00:46:00,675 --> 00:46:02,473 [YELLS] 658 00:46:04,178 --> 00:46:05,521 [FRANK GRUNTING] 659 00:46:07,431 --> 00:46:08,808 [PIANO PLAYS RAGTIME] 660 00:46:08,975 --> 00:46:09,976 [FRANK EXCLAIMING] 661 00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:24,286 [GLASS SHATTERING] 662 00:46:24,448 --> 00:46:25,916 Ah! 663 00:46:31,706 --> 00:46:32,958 Oh! 664 00:46:35,543 --> 00:46:36,590 Oh! 665 00:46:38,713 --> 00:46:42,058 - [ZAPPING] - [FRANK] Oh! Oh! 666 00:46:42,216 --> 00:46:43,809 Oh, my God! 667 00:46:52,226 --> 00:46:54,900 [SIRENS WAILING] 668 00:46:58,065 --> 00:46:59,988 [SIRENS CONTINUE] 669 00:47:16,459 --> 00:47:21,556 - [HORN HONKS] - [WOMAN SCREAMS] 670 00:47:21,714 --> 00:47:23,387 Ah. 671 00:47:23,549 --> 00:47:24,766 Oh! 672 00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:27,724 [YELLS] 673 00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:29,764 [STRAINING] 674 00:47:36,354 --> 00:47:37,606 [WOMAN SCREAMS] 675 00:47:37,772 --> 00:47:39,649 [FRANK SCREAMS] 676 00:47:50,117 --> 00:47:52,040 [CREAKING] 677 00:47:57,708 --> 00:47:59,301 - [YELLS] - [GLASS SHATTERS] 678 00:48:01,629 --> 00:48:03,597 [GASPING] 679 00:48:03,756 --> 00:48:06,384 [SCREAMING] 680 00:48:10,304 --> 00:48:11,647 [SCREAM ECHOES] 681 00:48:11,806 --> 00:48:13,479 Entering without a search warrant, 682 00:48:13,808 --> 00:48:16,231 destroying property, arson, 683 00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:19,489 sexual assault with a concrete dildo? 684 00:48:19,980 --> 00:48:22,403 What the hell were you doing there in the first place? 685 00:48:22,566 --> 00:48:24,406 Yes, I know, I'm sorry about that, Your Honour, 686 00:48:24,485 --> 00:48:26,338 but we have reason to believe that Vincent Ludwig 687 00:48:26,362 --> 00:48:28,911 is involved in a plot to assassinate the Queen. 688 00:48:29,073 --> 00:48:32,828 That's ridiculous! Where is this evidence? 689 00:48:33,953 --> 00:48:36,832 Well, it... burned in the fire. 690 00:48:36,997 --> 00:48:38,999 Gentlemen 691 00:48:39,166 --> 00:48:43,546 Vincent Ludwig is one of the most respected members of this community. 692 00:48:43,712 --> 00:48:47,967 And if we're all very nice to him, he will agree not to press charges. 693 00:48:48,134 --> 00:48:51,183 - Your Honour! - Did I make myself clear? 694 00:48:51,345 --> 00:48:53,518 Yes, Your Honour, very clear. Good day. 695 00:48:55,724 --> 00:48:57,692 Oh, Drebin! 696 00:48:57,852 --> 00:49:01,106 I don't want any more trouble like you had last year on the south side. 697 00:49:01,272 --> 00:49:04,025 Understand? That's my policy. 698 00:49:04,191 --> 00:49:07,661 Yes, well when I see five weirdos dressed in togas 699 00:49:07,820 --> 00:49:10,674 stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, 700 00:49:10,698 --> 00:49:12,541 I shoot the bastards. That's my policy. 701 00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:18,423 That was a Shakespeare In the Park production of Julius Caesar, you moron! 702 00:49:19,081 --> 00:49:23,632 - You killed five actors! Good ones. - Your Honour... 703 00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:29,221 Drebin, your presence at the Queen's reception tonight will not be necessary. 704 00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:30,726 Is that understood? 705 00:49:30,885 --> 00:49:34,059 We understand, Your Honour. Thank you. 706 00:49:57,036 --> 00:49:59,585 [RADIO ANNOUNCER] The plane has taxied to a stop. 707 00:49:59,747 --> 00:50:01,169 They're rolling out the steps. 708 00:50:01,332 --> 00:50:03,300 Any minute now, we expect the doors to open 709 00:50:03,459 --> 00:50:06,759 and we'll get our first glimpse of the Queen, as she begins her first visit 710 00:50:06,921 --> 00:50:09,765 to the Los Angeles area in over five years. 711 00:50:09,924 --> 00:50:12,068 [ANNOUNCER 2] That's right Bob, and it's a balmy, beautiful evening 712 00:50:12,092 --> 00:50:14,015 for it too. She'll be going straight from here 713 00:50:14,178 --> 00:50:16,156 to a formal reception hosted by the mayor, in hon our of 714 00:50:16,180 --> 00:50:18,808 [DOORBELL RINGS] [RADIO SHUTS OFF] 715 00:50:23,354 --> 00:50:25,106 - Jane! - Frank! 716 00:50:27,191 --> 00:50:29,489 I'm just making some dinner. Are you hungry? 717 00:50:29,652 --> 00:50:31,654 Well, maybe just a bite. 718 00:50:32,488 --> 00:50:33,768 I just talked to Vincent Ludwig. 719 00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:35,584 He wanted me to ask you to meet him tonight. 720 00:50:35,699 --> 00:50:37,793 Jane, I think there's something you should know. 721 00:50:37,952 --> 00:50:40,125 I was up in Vincent Ludwig's place last night. 722 00:50:40,287 --> 00:50:43,336 Oh, how nice! Did he show you his priceless collection of Ming vases 723 00:50:43,499 --> 00:50:45,227 and all those rare oil paintings? And what about...? 724 00:50:45,251 --> 00:50:47,549 Jane, I think that Vincent Ludwig 725 00:50:47,711 --> 00:50:49,551 is involved in a number of criminal activities. 726 00:50:49,630 --> 00:50:51,598 Oh, Frank, stop it! 727 00:50:51,757 --> 00:50:55,057 Vincent Ludwig is a well-respected, generous, kind man. 728 00:50:55,219 --> 00:50:57,059 It's just too bad you don't know him like I do. 729 00:50:57,137 --> 00:51:00,107 - Oh, yeah? And how's that? - What's that supposed to mean? 730 00:51:00,266 --> 00:51:01,813 I'm... sorry. 731 00:51:01,976 --> 00:51:05,480 I'm worried about you. I don't trust him and I don't want to see you 732 00:51:05,646 --> 00:51:07,489 getting mixed up in anything dangerous. 733 00:51:07,648 --> 00:51:09,650 Oh, Woo's... They back in business? 734 00:51:09,817 --> 00:51:12,286 I thought they closed down three years ago. 735 00:51:12,444 --> 00:51:13,991 Why, gee, has it been that long? 736 00:51:14,154 --> 00:51:16,031 I don't feel like Chinese tonight anyway. 737 00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:17,825 [SNIFFS] 738 00:51:17,992 --> 00:51:18,993 [GROANS] 739 00:51:19,159 --> 00:51:21,119 Frank, it's sweet of you to be concerned about me, 740 00:51:21,203 --> 00:51:23,001 but you're really wrong about Vincent Ludwig. 741 00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:26,918 He's such a gentleman. He's so generous. 742 00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:29,007 He just wants to have a talk with you 743 00:51:29,169 --> 00:51:31,297 to clear up any doubts you might have about him. 744 00:51:32,506 --> 00:51:33,928 - When? - Tonight. 745 00:51:34,091 --> 00:51:35,902 He wants you to meet him at the 7th Street stockyards. 746 00:51:35,926 --> 00:51:37,519 Near the 53rd Street entrance. 747 00:51:37,678 --> 00:51:40,522 All right, but you promise me that you'll be careful. 748 00:51:40,681 --> 00:51:43,855 Of course I will, funny face, for you. 749 00:51:45,227 --> 00:51:48,356 Ah, I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow. 750 00:51:48,981 --> 00:51:51,655 Are you sure you won't have something to eat? 751 00:51:57,531 --> 00:51:59,204 [COWS MOO] 752 00:52:14,423 --> 00:52:15,891 [COWS MOO] 753 00:52:17,343 --> 00:52:18,720 Ludwig? 754 00:52:19,803 --> 00:52:22,807 - [MAN] Drebin? - Yeah, I'm Drebin. 755 00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:26,568 [MAN] I have a message for you from Vincent Ludwig! 756 00:52:26,727 --> 00:52:29,401 - [GUNFIRE] - [MUFFLED SHOUTING] 757 00:52:29,563 --> 00:52:31,531 I'm sorry, I can't hear you! 758 00:52:31,690 --> 00:52:34,068 Don't fire the gun while you're talking! 759 00:52:57,299 --> 00:53:02,100 [MUFFLED] All right, put your gun down and your hands up! 760 00:53:11,605 --> 00:53:12,902 [YELLS] 761 00:53:15,025 --> 00:53:16,572 [MAN GURGLING] 762 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:27,997 [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] 763 00:53:35,838 --> 00:53:37,932 Matthews, stake out that end, 764 00:53:38,090 --> 00:53:41,310 Adcock, check for anyone suspicious-looking. 765 00:53:42,761 --> 00:53:44,729 - Ed... - Frank, what are you doing here? 766 00:53:44,888 --> 00:53:46,310 I just came from the stockyards, 767 00:53:46,473 --> 00:53:48,646 trading shots with one of Ludwig's goons. 768 00:53:48,809 --> 00:53:50,732 They're planning to do it tonight, Ed, here. 769 00:53:50,894 --> 00:53:52,574 That's' why they're trying to knock me off. 770 00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:54,364 Right. We'd better be on the lookout. 771 00:53:54,523 --> 00:53:57,151 Right, excuse me, ma'am, security. 772 00:53:57,317 --> 00:53:59,194 - [ELECTRONIC BUZZING] - [WOMAN SQUEALING] 773 00:53:59,361 --> 00:54:01,705 - What's the meaning of this? - All right, just relax. 774 00:54:01,864 --> 00:54:03,992 Take it easy. Nothing's gonna happen. 775 00:54:04,158 --> 00:54:07,788 - I didn't do anything. - Oh, yeah? Well, what about this? 776 00:54:07,953 --> 00:54:11,708 You think we were born yesterday? You didn't do anything, huh? 777 00:54:11,874 --> 00:54:12,966 I got rights... 778 00:54:13,125 --> 00:54:15,969 Look, Ed, he's got a picture of your wife! 779 00:54:16,837 --> 00:54:18,680 Ethel! 780 00:54:19,173 --> 00:54:20,174 - [GROANS] - [CROWD GASPS] 781 00:54:20,340 --> 00:54:23,014 All right, anyone else here seeing his wife? 782 00:54:23,177 --> 00:54:26,977 That's all right. That's OK, Frank. Let's get in the hall. 783 00:54:37,441 --> 00:54:39,318 Are you enjoying yourself, my dear? 784 00:54:39,485 --> 00:54:41,908 Oh, Mr. Ludwig, I'm so excited to be here. 785 00:54:42,070 --> 00:54:44,038 I really do appreciate your inviting me. 786 00:54:44,198 --> 00:54:46,371 The pleasure is all mine, my dear. 787 00:54:46,533 --> 00:54:50,083 - And perhaps afterwards we can... - [SPLASHES] 788 00:54:50,245 --> 00:54:51,997 - Drebin! - Frank! 789 00:54:52,164 --> 00:54:55,213 You're both right. Surprised to see me, Mr. Ludwig? 790 00:54:55,375 --> 00:54:58,219 This is not the time or place to talk. 791 00:54:58,378 --> 00:55:00,881 It's way past the time we talked. 792 00:55:01,048 --> 00:55:04,097 The gloves are off, I'm playing hard ball, Ludwig. 793 00:55:04,259 --> 00:55:07,854 It's fourth and fifteen, and you're looking at a full court press. 794 00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:11,893 Mr. Drebin! If you have evidence, then use it. 795 00:55:12,059 --> 00:55:15,939 If not, I am warning you, get off my back! 796 00:55:16,104 --> 00:55:18,732 Or I promise you, it will cost you dearly. 797 00:55:20,859 --> 00:55:22,532 Frank, what's wrong? 798 00:55:23,654 --> 00:55:25,622 A lot of things, sweetie-pie. 799 00:55:25,781 --> 00:55:28,785 A little meeting that turned into a peek-a-boo session with bullets, 800 00:55:28,951 --> 00:55:30,887 all set up by someone who's been playing me like a violin 801 00:55:30,911 --> 00:55:32,834 at the annual Saps Convention. 802 00:55:32,996 --> 00:55:34,998 Funny face, I don't know what you're talking about. 803 00:55:35,165 --> 00:55:39,090 My stockyard meeting, butter wings. Or don't you remember setting that up? 804 00:55:39,253 --> 00:55:42,382 But Mr. Ludwig said you called the meeting off! Believe me, I... 805 00:55:42,548 --> 00:55:44,846 Hum me another one, shnookie lumps! 806 00:55:45,008 --> 00:55:46,885 Frank, it's the truth! 807 00:55:47,052 --> 00:55:49,771 It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. 808 00:55:49,930 --> 00:55:51,853 Like eating a spoonful of Drano. 809 00:55:52,015 --> 00:55:55,019 Sure, it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside. 810 00:55:55,769 --> 00:55:57,897 Too bad, sugar puff. 811 00:55:59,231 --> 00:56:00,824 We could have been something. 812 00:56:02,109 --> 00:56:04,612 I was only doing what I was told to do! 813 00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:07,122 - Like make love to me? - Frank! 814 00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:08,703 - [CROWD GASPS] - [MUSIC STOPS] 815 00:56:08,866 --> 00:56:11,085 That only makes things easier, princess. 816 00:56:11,243 --> 00:56:14,417 To think I trusted you! I made a big mistake. 817 00:56:14,580 --> 00:56:18,255 - Here, you can take this back. - Whose is that? 818 00:56:20,210 --> 00:56:22,212 - Doesn't matter. - [MAN] Hey, watch it! 819 00:56:22,379 --> 00:56:24,097 Take care of yourself, baby. 820 00:56:26,091 --> 00:56:29,891 By the way, I faked every orgasm. 821 00:56:30,679 --> 00:56:32,306 Oh, funny face! 822 00:56:32,472 --> 00:56:33,472 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 823 00:56:33,599 --> 00:56:36,569 And to commemorate our friendship, 824 00:56:36,727 --> 00:56:40,698 the city of Los Angeles is proud to present to the Royal Family 825 00:56:40,856 --> 00:56:42,950 this Revolutionary War musket, 826 00:56:43,108 --> 00:56:46,157 generously donated by Mr. Vincent Ludwig. 827 00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:47,572 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDS] 828 00:56:48,322 --> 00:56:51,417 Ladies and gentlemen, Her Royal Highness, 829 00:56:51,575 --> 00:56:54,499 Queen Elizabeth II! 830 00:56:58,123 --> 00:57:00,125 [TRUMPET FANFARE BLARING] 831 00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:18,818 [ALL GASPING] 832 00:57:21,188 --> 00:57:23,031 [ALL EXCLAIMING] 833 00:57:23,982 --> 00:57:25,529 [GASPS] 834 00:57:25,692 --> 00:57:27,069 [CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING] 835 00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:33,868 [ED] It's disgusting the way they splash this stuff all over the newspapers! 836 00:57:34,534 --> 00:57:37,003 What is journalism coming to? 837 00:57:37,162 --> 00:57:40,712 You're laying on top of the Queen with her legs wrapped around you 838 00:57:40,874 --> 00:57:42,376 and they call that news! 839 00:57:42,542 --> 00:57:44,761 They can't kick you off the force, Frank. 840 00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:49,050 - It's just not fair. - I know, Ed. Life isn't always fair. 841 00:57:49,216 --> 00:57:52,811 Just think, the next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested. 842 00:57:54,262 --> 00:57:56,731 Hey, look at that! 843 00:57:56,890 --> 00:57:59,109 The missing evidence in the Kelner case! 844 00:57:59,267 --> 00:58:01,361 My God, he was innocent! 845 00:58:02,062 --> 00:58:05,236 He went to the chair two years ago, Frank. 846 00:58:05,399 --> 00:58:08,198 Well... what's the use? 847 00:58:08,986 --> 00:58:11,990 What good are these damn awards and citations? 848 00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:13,577 [MAN] Frank... 849 00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:16,289 Frank, that's not your desk! 850 00:58:16,451 --> 00:58:17,748 - Frank! - Jane! 851 00:58:17,911 --> 00:58:20,835 - I've been looking all over for you! - What are you doing here? 852 00:58:20,998 --> 00:58:22,841 Running another errand for your boyfriend? 853 00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,594 I tried to call you last night. I even went by your place. 854 00:58:25,752 --> 00:58:29,006 - Where were you? - I was out walking. All night. 855 00:58:29,172 --> 00:58:32,096 Frank, you gotta listen to me! I have important information for you. 856 00:58:32,259 --> 00:58:36,014 Please believe me. Vincent Ludwig and I, there was never anything between us. 857 00:58:36,179 --> 00:58:39,433 - He likes East German men. - What about you? 858 00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:41,601 I like cops. 859 00:58:41,768 --> 00:58:45,773 - [ALL EXCLAIMING] All right! Yeah! - Settle down. Take it easy. 860 00:58:46,857 --> 00:58:49,610 - What have you got? - I overheard Ludwig after the banquet. 861 00:58:49,776 --> 00:58:51,870 You were right all along, Frank. 862 00:58:52,029 --> 00:58:54,953 Ludwig is planning to have someone assassinate the Queen! 863 00:58:55,115 --> 00:58:57,334 - Where? - At the baseball game. 864 00:58:57,492 --> 00:58:59,554 The Queen will be there this afternoon as a guest of Ludwig. 865 00:58:59,578 --> 00:59:00,955 I'm supposed to be with him. 866 00:59:01,121 --> 00:59:02,473 Are you telling us that Vincent Ludwig 867 00:59:02,497 --> 00:59:05,125 is going to just shoot the Queen in front of 60,000 fans? 868 00:59:05,292 --> 00:59:07,892 No, he said a player's gonna do it, during the 7th-inning stretch. 869 00:59:08,045 --> 00:59:10,925 - That game starts in 20 minutes. - I'd better get down there right away. 870 00:59:11,006 --> 00:59:13,930 - I'll go with you. - No, it's best you stay with Ludwig. 871 00:59:14,092 --> 00:59:15,844 That way we won't arouse any suspicion. 872 00:59:16,011 --> 00:59:18,560 - Right. OK, let's go! - Wait! Wait! 873 00:59:18,722 --> 00:59:21,350 Now, listen, I've gotten you guys into enough trouble already. 874 00:59:21,516 --> 00:59:23,453 I don't want you to risk this for me. I'll go alone. 875 00:59:23,477 --> 00:59:26,105 No! This is gonna get you back on the force, Frank. 876 00:59:26,271 --> 00:59:28,490 We're all right behind you. 877 00:59:28,815 --> 00:59:31,159 [ALL CLAMOURING] 878 00:59:31,318 --> 00:59:35,494 Frank? I wanted you to know now, 879 00:59:35,655 --> 00:59:39,330 I've loved you since the first day I met you, and I'll never stop. 880 00:59:40,243 --> 00:59:41,995 I'm a very lucky woman. 881 00:59:43,288 --> 00:59:45,336 So am I. 882 00:59:45,874 --> 00:59:48,093 [CROWD CHATTERING] 883 00:59:52,380 --> 00:59:54,348 [ANNOUNCER] And a good afternoon to everyone. 884 00:59:54,508 --> 00:59:56,761 We're coming to you live from the Big A, 885 00:59:56,927 --> 00:59:59,555 where the California Angels meet the Seattle Mariners 886 00:59:59,721 --> 01:00:01,644 in a showdown for the division lead 887 01:00:01,807 --> 01:00:04,435 in this exciting American League West race. 888 01:00:04,601 --> 01:00:08,276 Hello, everybody! I'm Curt Gowdy along with Jim Palmer, 889 01:00:08,438 --> 01:00:11,408 Tim McCarver, Dick Vitale, Mel Allen, 890 01:00:11,566 --> 01:00:14,695 Dick Enberg and Dr. Joyce Brothers, 891 01:00:14,861 --> 01:00:17,580 inviting you to join us for this all-important ball game. 892 01:00:17,739 --> 01:00:19,457 And a very special game it is, Curt. 893 01:00:19,616 --> 01:00:21,539 As we all know, this game is being attended 894 01:00:21,701 --> 01:00:23,419 by Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth. 895 01:00:23,578 --> 01:00:26,206 And I'm sure Her Majesty will enjoy this game, Jim. 896 01:00:27,207 --> 01:00:29,209 We've got all the exits covered. 897 01:00:29,376 --> 01:00:31,378 I ought to go down and arrest Ludwig right now. 898 01:00:31,545 --> 01:00:33,047 No, Frank, without any evidence, 899 01:00:33,213 --> 01:00:35,386 we've got to let him make the first move. 900 01:00:35,549 --> 01:00:37,949 Besides, with the mayor, she'd have you arrested on the spot. 901 01:00:38,093 --> 01:00:39,333 You've gotta stay out of sight. 902 01:00:39,386 --> 01:00:41,889 I've got to get that assassin before the 7th-inning stretch. 903 01:00:42,055 --> 01:00:44,274 If Jane is right, it could be any one of those players. 904 01:00:44,432 --> 01:00:46,202 I've got to find a way to get down there on that field 905 01:00:46,226 --> 01:00:47,603 and search those players. 906 01:00:47,769 --> 01:00:48,871 [STADIUM ANNOUNCER] Ladies and gentlemen, 907 01:00:48,895 --> 01:00:51,899 please rise and give a hearty Los Angeles welcome 908 01:00:52,065 --> 01:00:54,067 to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II! 909 01:00:54,234 --> 01:00:57,078 [ORGAN PLAYS GOD SAVE THE QUEEN] 910 01:01:02,868 --> 01:01:04,916 One moment. 911 01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:06,497 Huh? 912 01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:08,707 - Over there. - Move down. 913 01:01:08,874 --> 01:01:10,251 These seats are taken. 914 01:01:13,712 --> 01:01:16,431 [CROWD APPLAUDS, CHEERS] 915 01:01:25,515 --> 01:01:29,065 My dear, is something bothering you? 916 01:01:29,227 --> 01:01:30,729 Why, no, why do you ask? 917 01:01:30,896 --> 01:01:35,026 You haven't said a word. You seem... nervous. 918 01:01:35,192 --> 01:01:38,787 Well, you know how important this game is for the Angels. 919 01:01:39,946 --> 01:01:41,448 Why he's not here now? 920 01:01:41,615 --> 01:01:43,617 I do not like being made to wait for him. 921 01:01:43,783 --> 01:01:46,957 Mr. Pallazzo, our head usher will be here in two minutes 922 01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:49,623 to take you onto the field. Please, just wait in here. 923 01:01:49,789 --> 01:01:52,133 He should be here now, do you understand? 924 01:01:52,292 --> 01:01:54,169 Yes, sir. I'll send him right over. 925 01:01:54,336 --> 01:01:57,089 I do not wait for him! He waits for me! 926 01:02:01,801 --> 01:02:03,474 - Yes? - Mr. Pallazzo? 927 01:02:03,637 --> 01:02:04,934 - Si. - I am the head usher. 928 01:02:05,096 --> 01:02:08,100 - Ah! - I am here to... Excuse me. 929 01:02:13,647 --> 01:02:17,151 - Mr. Pallazzo? - Yes? 930 01:02:17,317 --> 01:02:20,696 - I am the head usher. - One second. 931 01:02:21,321 --> 01:02:22,882 [STADIUM ANNOUNCER] Ladies and gentlemen, 932 01:02:22,906 --> 01:02:27,127 on behalf of the California Angels and the City of Los Angeles, 933 01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:29,708 on the occasion of Her Majesty's royal visit, 934 01:02:29,871 --> 01:02:34,968 please welcome internationally renowned opera star, Enrico Pallazzo! 935 01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:42,180 Ladies and gentlemen, let us hon our America, 936 01:02:42,342 --> 01:02:47,519 as Mr. Pallazzo will now sing our national anthem. 937 01:02:47,681 --> 01:02:49,683 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] 938 01:02:52,811 --> 01:02:56,691 [SINGING THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER OFF-KEY] 939 01:03:06,283 --> 01:03:07,535 Frank? 940 01:03:17,043 --> 01:03:20,138 [FRANK CONTINUES TO SING OFF-KEY] 941 01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:27,979 [MUMBLES LYRICS] 942 01:03:49,242 --> 01:03:50,960 - [MOANING] - [FRANK CONTINUES SINGING] 943 01:04:07,302 --> 01:04:08,804 [CROWD CHEERS] 944 01:04:09,929 --> 01:04:11,852 And now, as the crowd settles back down, 945 01:04:12,015 --> 01:04:14,438 we'll wait for the exchange of lineups 946 01:04:14,601 --> 01:04:16,444 and the start of today's ball game. 947 01:04:24,861 --> 01:04:29,537 Oh, excuse me, could you tell me, is this an official bat? 948 01:04:32,786 --> 01:04:36,416 Well, the Queen's visit has brought a sell-out crowd. Could be a record. 949 01:04:36,581 --> 01:04:38,461 And while the fans are awaiting the first pitch, 950 01:04:38,541 --> 01:04:40,794 they're being entertained by the stadium's Angel vision, 951 01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:44,760 showing some of those unusual moments in baseball over the years. 952 01:04:44,923 --> 01:04:46,641 [CROWD GASPING] 953 01:05:02,649 --> 01:05:03,901 [JANITOR] Whoops. 954 01:05:05,110 --> 01:05:06,612 Sorry, fellas! 955 01:05:11,366 --> 01:05:12,834 [CROWD GASPS] 956 01:05:16,996 --> 01:05:20,170 - [TIGER ROARS] - [CROWD GASPS] 957 01:05:33,471 --> 01:05:36,691 [LAUGHING] How about that? 958 01:05:39,018 --> 01:05:41,817 [STADIUM ANNOUNCER] Ladies and gentlemen, now taking the field, 959 01:05:41,980 --> 01:05:44,074 your California Angels! 960 01:05:52,365 --> 01:05:55,369 For the safety of the players and yourself, 961 01:05:55,535 --> 01:05:59,665 we ask that you do not throw any objects in the stands or on the field. 962 01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:01,799 We thank you for your cooperation. 963 01:06:04,919 --> 01:06:07,047 So, as the Angels take the field, 964 01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,466 we're about ready for the First Pitch ceremony 965 01:06:09,632 --> 01:06:12,932 with the Queen of England ready to toss out the first ball. 966 01:06:17,098 --> 01:06:19,285 [STADIUM ANNOUNCER] How about that Queen, ladies and gentlemen? 967 01:06:19,309 --> 01:06:21,061 Let's have a nice round of applause! 968 01:06:21,227 --> 01:06:23,571 Well, we're ready for the start of today's ball game, 969 01:06:23,730 --> 01:06:26,199 and I'm sure that group of lovely ladies would agree. 970 01:06:26,357 --> 01:06:28,294 [JIM PALMER] Well, they ought to. Those are the players' wives, 971 01:06:28,318 --> 01:06:30,241 on hand to enjoy the game with us today. 972 01:06:30,403 --> 01:06:32,952 [STADIUM ANNOUNCER] Introducing the umpires for today's game, 973 01:06:33,114 --> 01:06:35,162 at first base, Lou Hernandez. 974 01:06:35,325 --> 01:06:38,124 Second base, Dan Silva. Third base... 975 01:06:38,286 --> 01:06:41,381 What do you say, Cummings? Are we gonna do this today? 976 01:06:41,539 --> 01:06:42,882 Do what? Oh! 977 01:06:43,041 --> 01:06:45,169 Play ball! 978 01:06:48,254 --> 01:06:51,098 Frank! Al, it's Frank! 979 01:06:56,095 --> 01:06:57,893 And this game's underway. 980 01:06:58,056 --> 01:07:00,605 Dave Spiwack ready to face Jay John stone! 981 01:07:19,953 --> 01:07:23,048 - Nothing to report so far, chief. - Don't worry, Al. 982 01:07:23,831 --> 01:07:27,176 If one of those players is the killer, Frank is gonna find him, 983 01:07:27,335 --> 01:07:29,588 even if he has to search every one of them. 984 01:07:29,754 --> 01:07:32,473 [ANNOUNCER] Jay John stone. John stone. 985 01:07:33,550 --> 01:07:37,475 Hello, pal. You all right? Let's see if that uniform's on straight. 986 01:07:37,637 --> 01:07:40,481 Pretty good back here. Now let's see the shirt. 987 01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:42,438 You should take a large. 988 01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:44,773 Little tight in the crotch. 989 01:07:45,853 --> 01:07:48,276 All right? All set? 990 01:07:50,441 --> 01:07:53,160 OK, play ball! 991 01:07:58,157 --> 01:07:59,704 [CROWD EXCLAIMS] 992 01:08:02,954 --> 01:08:04,171 Batter up. 993 01:08:21,598 --> 01:08:22,645 Strike? 994 01:08:22,807 --> 01:08:24,309 [CROWD CHEERS] 995 01:08:26,853 --> 01:08:29,151 Yeah, strike! 996 01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:46,381 Stee-rike two! 997 01:09:01,346 --> 01:09:07,353 Stee-rike three! 998 01:09:07,518 --> 01:09:10,738 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 999 01:09:14,067 --> 01:09:15,910 Hey! 1000 01:09:25,244 --> 01:09:27,622 [RANDY NEWMAN: I LOVE L.A.] 1001 01:09:42,053 --> 01:09:44,772 Strike! 1002 01:09:56,275 --> 01:09:57,652 You're clean! 1003 01:10:00,947 --> 01:10:02,620 You're out! 1004 01:11:49,555 --> 01:11:50,602 Have you found him yet? 1005 01:11:50,765 --> 01:11:52,358 No, and I've searched almost everybody. 1006 01:11:52,517 --> 01:11:53,517 Yeah, I saw that. 1007 01:11:53,643 --> 01:11:56,522 There's only one more out before the 7th innings stretch, Frank. 1008 01:11:56,687 --> 01:11:59,566 I'm gonna have my men on the alert, but you're gonna have to stall them. 1009 01:11:59,732 --> 01:12:02,110 Don't let 'em get that third out. 1010 01:12:02,276 --> 01:12:03,869 Right, Ed. 1011 01:12:05,530 --> 01:12:10,331 [STADIUM ANNOUNCER] The Mariners' short stop, number four, Armando Personi! 1012 01:12:10,493 --> 01:12:11,494 Personi! 1013 01:12:18,584 --> 01:12:21,508 - Ball! - Ball? 1014 01:12:21,671 --> 01:12:23,264 [CROWD BOOS] 1015 01:12:31,973 --> 01:12:34,101 Ball! 1016 01:12:34,267 --> 01:12:35,769 [CROWD BOOS] 1017 01:12:44,944 --> 01:12:46,446 [CATCHER MUTTERS] 1018 01:12:48,614 --> 01:12:50,708 Catch it! Catch it! 1019 01:12:53,786 --> 01:12:54,958 [SCREAMS] 1020 01:12:55,121 --> 01:12:57,340 - Fair ball! - [MAN] Go, go, go! 1021 01:12:57,498 --> 01:12:59,375 He's going home, he's going home! 1022 01:12:59,542 --> 01:13:01,419 [MAN 2] Block the plate! 1023 01:13:01,586 --> 01:13:04,055 - Safe! - Safe? What do you mean, safe? 1024 01:13:04,213 --> 01:13:06,341 I don't believe this! 1025 01:13:08,426 --> 01:13:10,144 Hey, second base! On two! 1026 01:13:11,429 --> 01:13:13,431 There's a throw by the catcher 1027 01:13:13,598 --> 01:13:16,442 and now they've got Personi hung up between 1st and 2nd! 1028 01:13:16,601 --> 01:13:18,521 [Umpire] What the hell do you think you're doing? 1029 01:13:19,395 --> 01:13:20,396 What? 1030 01:13:20,563 --> 01:13:22,406 [UMPIRE] Hey, you're not supposed to do that! 1031 01:13:23,482 --> 01:13:25,359 Hey, wait a minute! Stop that! 1032 01:13:25,526 --> 01:13:28,154 Put that back down! Give me that ball! 1033 01:13:30,823 --> 01:13:32,291 I'll get you! 1034 01:13:32,450 --> 01:13:34,794 I know this is hard to believe, 1035 01:13:34,952 --> 01:13:38,126 but apparently the umpires have got Personi in a run down! 1036 01:13:41,334 --> 01:13:42,961 - Safe! - Safe? 1037 01:13:43,127 --> 01:13:44,470 How about that? 1038 01:13:44,629 --> 01:13:46,427 - Out! - Safe! 1039 01:13:46,589 --> 01:13:48,512 - Out! - He was safe! 1040 01:13:48,674 --> 01:13:49,766 - Out! - Safe! 1041 01:13:49,926 --> 01:13:51,519 There's a sight I've never seen. 1042 01:13:51,677 --> 01:13:53,975 - Out! Out! Out! - Safe! Safe! Safe! 1043 01:13:54,138 --> 01:13:55,685 - Safe! - What are you doing? 1044 01:13:55,848 --> 01:13:57,691 - Safe! Safe! Safe! - [UMPIRE] He was out! 1045 01:13:57,850 --> 01:14:01,024 He was safe! He never tagged him with the ball! 1046 01:14:01,187 --> 01:14:03,406 You idiot! He was out when he ran out of the baseline! 1047 01:14:03,564 --> 01:14:06,033 All right, I've had enough! You're out of here! 1048 01:14:06,192 --> 01:14:09,036 - What do you mean? - You can't throw an umpire out! 1049 01:14:09,195 --> 01:14:11,823 All right, you're outta here! 1050 01:14:12,865 --> 01:14:16,961 Hold on! Even the guy running the scoreboard says he was out! 1051 01:14:17,119 --> 01:14:20,373 And he's way up there in the mezzanine! 1052 01:14:20,539 --> 01:14:23,258 My God, it's the third out! 1053 01:14:24,377 --> 01:14:26,175 [BEEPING] 1054 01:14:26,337 --> 01:14:28,465 [UMPIRES CONTINUE ARGUING] 1055 01:14:39,308 --> 01:14:42,403 I must kill... the Queen. 1056 01:14:47,149 --> 01:14:49,698 I must kill... the Queen. 1057 01:14:52,405 --> 01:14:54,407 Frank! Frank, it's the right fielder! 1058 01:14:54,573 --> 01:14:57,042 [ALL ARGUING] 1059 01:15:00,746 --> 01:15:04,421 - You're the boss! - It was safe. 1060 01:15:04,583 --> 01:15:07,177 Now we're going to take you for a little walk. 1061 01:15:07,336 --> 01:15:08,553 To think I respected you. 1062 01:15:08,713 --> 01:15:10,306 How could you do something so vicious? 1063 01:15:10,464 --> 01:15:11,966 It was easy, my dear. 1064 01:15:12,133 --> 01:15:15,307 Don't forget I spent two years as a building contractor. 1065 01:15:15,469 --> 01:15:17,722 Now let's go quietly. 1066 01:15:22,309 --> 01:15:24,403 Hey, look at that! Come on, let's get him! 1067 01:15:28,607 --> 01:15:30,325 [ALL CLAMOURING] 1068 01:15:35,573 --> 01:15:37,951 [MAN] Kick him in the balls! 1069 01:15:39,035 --> 01:15:41,163 [ALL GRUNTING, SHOUTING] 1070 01:16:10,775 --> 01:16:13,654 I must kill... the Queen. 1071 01:16:13,819 --> 01:16:15,662 [GASPS] 1072 01:16:16,655 --> 01:16:17,907 Whoops. 1073 01:16:21,619 --> 01:16:24,873 - [CROWD MURMURING] - [WOMAN SCREAMING] 1074 01:16:31,670 --> 01:16:35,891 The umpire... he saved the Queen's life! 1075 01:16:36,050 --> 01:16:38,178 That's not the umpire, Your Honor. 1076 01:16:42,348 --> 01:16:44,476 Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo! 1077 01:16:47,103 --> 01:16:50,949 [ALL CHANTING] Rico Pallazzo! Rico Pallazzo! 1078 01:16:51,107 --> 01:16:52,484 Drebin! 1079 01:16:52,817 --> 01:16:55,195 Frank! Frank! 1080 01:16:55,361 --> 01:16:58,365 [JANE] Frank! Frank, help! 1081 01:16:58,531 --> 01:17:02,377 Frank! Frank, help! 1082 01:17:02,535 --> 01:17:04,128 [JANE] Frank! 1083 01:17:18,300 --> 01:17:20,553 - [JANE] Frank! - Stay where you are, Drebin! 1084 01:17:20,719 --> 01:17:23,142 - He's got a gun! - I know. 1085 01:17:23,305 --> 01:17:26,900 You ruined my life, Drebin. Now I'm going to ruin yours. 1086 01:17:27,059 --> 01:17:30,063 - Leave the girl alone! - I am. I'm going to kill you. 1087 01:17:30,896 --> 01:17:33,775 - I see. - [PHONE DINGS] 1088 01:17:35,734 --> 01:17:37,953 Two can play at that game! 1089 01:17:38,904 --> 01:17:40,156 Ah! 1090 01:17:43,284 --> 01:17:44,284 [LUDWIG GROANING] 1091 01:17:44,410 --> 01:17:47,505 - You killed him! - No, no, he's just stunned. 1092 01:17:47,663 --> 01:17:49,415 He'll be all right in a couple of minutes. 1093 01:17:50,249 --> 01:17:52,251 [LUDWIG SCREAMS] 1094 01:17:54,044 --> 01:17:55,512 [LOUD CRASH] 1095 01:17:55,754 --> 01:17:57,677 Well... 1096 01:18:05,890 --> 01:18:07,267 [CRUNCHING] 1097 01:18:08,809 --> 01:18:11,358 [COWBELL CLICKING] 1098 01:18:11,645 --> 01:18:14,194 - [MARCHING BAND PLAYS] - [CRUNCHING] 1099 01:18:22,990 --> 01:18:26,119 Frank... It's horrible! 1100 01:18:27,286 --> 01:18:30,415 - It's so horrible! - I know, Ed. 1101 01:18:32,041 --> 01:18:33,759 My father went the same way. 1102 01:18:37,296 --> 01:18:39,094 [BEEPING] 1103 01:18:49,850 --> 01:18:53,900 I must kill... Frank Drebin. 1104 01:18:54,063 --> 01:18:57,237 I must kill Frank Drebin. 1105 01:18:58,025 --> 01:18:59,618 No, no, don't shoot! 1106 01:19:00,819 --> 01:19:04,744 Jane... it's me... 1107 01:19:06,992 --> 01:19:08,335 Funny face. 1108 01:19:08,494 --> 01:19:12,249 - [JANE] I must kill Frank Drebin. - [MAN] Hey, look! Up there! 1109 01:19:12,414 --> 01:19:14,462 [FRANK] You love Frank Drebin. 1110 01:19:14,625 --> 01:19:16,969 And Frank Drebin loves you. 1111 01:19:18,420 --> 01:19:19,421 Jane, listen to me. 1112 01:19:20,673 --> 01:19:22,400 If you don't love me, you might as well pull that trigger, 1113 01:19:22,424 --> 01:19:27,225 because without you, I wouldn't want to live anyway. 1114 01:19:29,056 --> 01:19:30,774 I've finally found someone I can love 1115 01:19:31,850 --> 01:19:35,946 a good, clean love... without utensils. 1116 01:19:36,105 --> 01:19:39,985 I must kill Frank Drebin. 1117 01:19:40,150 --> 01:19:42,824 It's a topsy-turvy world, Jane, 1118 01:19:42,987 --> 01:19:46,412 and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans, 1119 01:19:46,573 --> 01:19:50,828 but this is our hill and these are our beans. 1120 01:19:52,413 --> 01:19:55,667 Jane, since I met you, I notice things I never knew were there before, 1121 01:19:55,833 --> 01:20:00,680 birds singing, dew glistening on a newly-formed leaf 1122 01:20:01,630 --> 01:20:03,052 stop lights 1123 01:20:03,215 --> 01:20:06,685 - I must kill... - Jane, this morning 1124 01:20:08,470 --> 01:20:10,063 I bought something for you. 1125 01:20:11,473 --> 01:20:12,725 It's not very much, 1126 01:20:13,559 --> 01:20:16,233 but pretty good for an honest policeman's salary. 1127 01:20:17,938 --> 01:20:19,861 It's an engagement ring. 1128 01:20:20,024 --> 01:20:21,992 I would have given it to you earlier, 1129 01:20:22,151 --> 01:20:25,371 but I wanted to wait until we were alone. 1130 01:20:29,575 --> 01:20:32,579 - I... - I love you, Jane. 1131 01:20:38,500 --> 01:20:39,843 Oh, Frank! 1132 01:20:52,264 --> 01:20:54,517 I'm sorry! 1133 01:21:05,110 --> 01:21:08,364 I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday, I really am. 1134 01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:12,869 Drebin! 1135 01:21:13,035 --> 01:21:15,709 I was wrong about you. 1136 01:21:15,871 --> 01:21:19,921 This city, and I guess the whole world, owes you a debt of gratitude. 1137 01:21:20,084 --> 01:21:21,131 Thank you, Mayor. 1138 01:21:21,293 --> 01:21:25,298 And Monday morning we want you back at Police Squad 1139 01:21:25,464 --> 01:21:27,592 with a promotion to captain, of course. 1140 01:21:27,758 --> 01:21:29,977 - Mayor... - But don't thank me. 1141 01:21:30,928 --> 01:21:33,477 There's someone else here who wants to thank you. 1142 01:21:33,639 --> 01:21:35,892 - Nordberg! - Hiya, buddy! 1143 01:21:36,058 --> 01:21:38,857 The doc says I should be on my feet and as good as new in a week! 1144 01:21:39,019 --> 01:21:42,990 - And back on the force! - Nordberg, that's wonderful! 1145 01:21:43,148 --> 01:21:44,149 Whoa! 1146 01:21:44,316 --> 01:21:47,320 Oh, Frank! Everyone should have a friend like you! 1147 01:21:47,486 --> 01:21:49,580 [NORDBERG SCREAMS] 1148 01:21:49,738 --> 01:21:50,910 [CRASHES] 1149 01:21:51,573 --> 01:21:53,013 [PETER NOONE I'M INTO SOMETHING GOOD]