﻿1
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05 Police Squad Episode 5 - 1982 English

2
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[MALE NARRATOR]
Police Squad! In colour.

3
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Starring Leslie Nielsen.

4
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Also starring Alan North.

5
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[GUNS FIRING]

6
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[SCREAMING]

7
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And Rex Hamilton
as Abraham Lincoln.

8
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[GUN FIRING]

9
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Tonight's special guest star,
Florence Henderson.

10
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Put on a happy... a'

11
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[SCREAMING]

12
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Tonight's episode,
Terror in the Neighbourhood.

13
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[DOGS BARKING]

14
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[SQUAWKING]

15
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All right, girls,
that was very, very nice.

16
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Now, we're gonna do it
one more time, okay?

17
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Now, just watch me very carefully

18
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and do exactly as I do, okay?

19
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And...

20
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[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

21
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It's payday, teacher.
Let's have the 50 bucks.

22
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Look, I don't have anything this week.
Business is really bad.

23
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Come on, come on,
continue, girls. Come on.

24
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[MAN] Well, ain't that too bad?

25
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Looks like the teacher needs
a few lessons, Rock.

26
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- Give her the business.
- No, please, don't.

27
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It's okay, sweetheart.
I'm just gonna rearrange

28
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your pretty little face for you.

29
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[SCREAMS]

30
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[JILL SCREAMING]

31
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My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin,
Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad,

32
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a special division
of the police department.

33
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I was out testing new emergency
police vehicles

34
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when I got the call about a girl beaten
in what appeared to be

35
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a neighbourhood
protection racket scheme.

36
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I drove down
to headquarters immediately.

37
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My boss, Ed Hocken, was already there.

38
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Hi, Ed.

39
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Oh, hi, Frank.

40
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I'm glad you're here.
This is a tough one.

41
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- What do we got?
- One scared lady.

42
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A couple of hoods beat up
on her real good.

43
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Did she say anything?

44
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No, nothing.

45
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Same M.O. as the others.

46
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All right, where is she?

47
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Right over there.

48
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Oh, Frank?

49
00:02:57,730 --> 00:02:59,691
She looks pretty bad.

50
00:03:02,777 --> 00:03:04,612
I'm Sergeant Drebin, Jill.

51
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I know this may not
be the right time...

52
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Oh, Frank, not that bad.
That's her over there.

53
00:03:10,994 --> 00:03:12,245
Sorry, madam.

54
00:03:13,871 --> 00:03:17,250
Jill? I'm Captain Drebin.

55
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Cigarette?

56
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,254
Yes, it is.

57
00:03:21,379 --> 00:03:23,965
Well, I'm here to help you.
Coffee?

58
00:03:24,090 --> 00:03:25,216
- No, thank you.
- Tea?

59
00:03:25,341 --> 00:03:28,636
- No.
- Eclair? Rum ball? Torte?

60
00:03:29,262 --> 00:03:30,638
No, really, thank you.

61
00:03:32,390 --> 00:03:35,059
Jill, you've got to give us
something to go on.

62
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Names, description, sounds,
smells, shirt size, anything.

63
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Will you do that?

64
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- I really should go. I shouldn't be here.
- Jill, I know you're frightened.

65
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These criminals,
that's what they count on.

66
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Fear is their greatest weapon.

67
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Jill, if you help us,
we'll put them behind bars for good.

68
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I'm sorry, but I just didn't
get a good look.

69
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Now we can't let these vermin
infest our city.

70
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We'll have a rotten,
scum-sucking cesspool.

71
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OFFICER: [GAGGING] Frank, please,
I'm trying to eat this tuna fish sandwich.

72
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A rat-infested, worm-ridden festering boil.

73
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[HOCKEN] Oh, Frank, cut it out, will you?
I'm talking to my mother.

74
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I'm really sorry.

75
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All right, Jill.
I see I'm wasting my breath.

76
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[INDISTINCT]

77
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See the girl over there?

78
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When she leaves,
put a tail on her.

79
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Ed.

80
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Frank.

81
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Are these guys concentrating
on any particular area in the city?

82
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No, we're getting
complaints from all over, all over town.

83
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I have a hunch
they're concentrating right here.

84
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[DREBIN] And nobody'll talk?

85
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No. I tell you, Frank,
without a witness, we're dead.

86
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Maybe we're just gonna
have to get our own evidence first hand.

87
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I don't understand, Frank.

88
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Well, now let's say a new merchant
moves into the neighbourhood,

89
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opens up a shop.

90
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Okay.

91
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[BOTH] A new merchant moves
into the neighbourhood and opens up a shop.

92
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Then let's say

93
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that merchant attracts
a certain couple of thugs

94
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who demand payments.

95
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All right.

96
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[BOTH] That merchant attracts
a certain couple of thugs

97
00:05:18,746 --> 00:05:20,456
who demand payments.

98
00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:23,584
That's a good plan, Frank.

99
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Al, get down to
this neighbourhood here,

100
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locate a small business
that we can occupy immediately.

101
00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:32,820
Okay, Lieutenant.
I'll get right on it.

102
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- What happened to your face?
- I ran into a fire sprinkler.

103
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Okay, go ahead.

104
00:05:37,765 --> 00:05:41,436
Frank, you better take
somebody with you.

105
00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:43,896
Get a hold of Officer Norberg.

106
00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:46,774
Tell him to drop whatever he's doing,
get up here on the double.

107
00:05:46,899 --> 00:05:48,025
Yes, Captain.

108
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[DREBIN] Al did his job well.
He found an abandoned locksmith's shop

109
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just down the street
from Jill's dance studio

110
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in the heart of the
terrorized neighbourhood.

111
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It was a perfect location
in an area of small businesses.

112
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Honest people who worked hard
to make a modest living,

113
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easy pickings for extortionists.

114
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Officer Norberg from the undercover unit
was assigned to the case.

115
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We planned to establish a business
and hoped to become targets ourselves.

116
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Key is ready.

117
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- Thank you. Come again.
- Thank you.

118
00:06:57,845 --> 00:07:01,265
Ah, there we are, sir.
Um, I'll just buff this down for you.

119
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Shoot!

120
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[DOORBELL JINGLING]

121
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Beat it, brush fire.

122
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Hey, what's the idea
of running my customer off?

123
00:07:18,533 --> 00:07:20,493
We just wanna have
a little chat with you.

124
00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:21,900
You the new owner of this shop?

125
00:07:21,994 --> 00:07:23,621
That's right.
What can I do for you?

126
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- Nice place.
- Thank you.

127
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You know, this is
a rough neighbourhood.

128
00:07:28,251 --> 00:07:30,771
Bet you'd hate to see something happen
to your little key store.

129
00:07:30,878 --> 00:07:32,755
What about my little keister?

130
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,257
Key store.

131
00:07:34,382 --> 00:07:37,426
You give us 50 bucks a week
and we make sure your place stays safe.

132
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[DREBIN] I'm not interested.

133
00:07:39,929 --> 00:07:41,769
[MAN] We'd hate to have
to make you interested.

134
00:07:41,847 --> 00:07:44,642
Get out of my shop!
You get nothing from me.

135
00:07:45,434 --> 00:07:47,770
I think you're gonna be sorry
you said that, mister.

136
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Oh, yeah?
You and who else?

137
00:07:51,566 --> 00:07:52,900
Easy, Rock.

138
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:56,571
We'll see you around.
Take care.

139
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[DOORBELL JINGLING]

140
00:08:01,993 --> 00:08:03,369
[DOOR SLAMMING]

141
00:08:03,536 --> 00:08:05,204
[KEYS CLATTERING]

142
00:08:09,584 --> 00:08:14,088
Well, Norberg, looks like we made contact
with the organization.

143
00:08:15,256 --> 00:08:17,717
You know,
I was just thinking, Lieutenant,

144
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what if we offered one key
free for every three keys duplicated?

145
00:08:21,929 --> 00:08:24,181
And they know
we're not gonna be easy.

146
00:08:24,348 --> 00:08:28,561
- The next move is up to them.
- But only as a limited-time offer.

147
00:08:30,938 --> 00:08:32,440
[GUN FIRING]

148
00:08:39,238 --> 00:08:40,323
Look out!

149
00:08:41,115 --> 00:08:42,617
[GLASS SHATTERING]

150
00:08:44,493 --> 00:08:46,537
[WOMAN SCREAMING]

151
00:08:53,586 --> 00:08:55,671
It looks like they mean business.

152
00:08:56,964 --> 00:08:58,215
[DREBIN] I went back to the lab

153
00:08:58,382 --> 00:09:00,426
to find out what Olson
had come up with.

154
00:09:00,593 --> 00:09:03,346
The rock that came through our window
was their first warning.

155
00:09:03,471 --> 00:09:06,432
I knew it wouldn't be long
before we were contacted again.

156
00:09:07,141 --> 00:09:08,559
So, Billy,

157
00:09:08,684 --> 00:09:12,021
electrostatic particles are created
by an imbalance of electrons.

158
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:16,484
The resulting charge is
what we scientists call static electricity.

159
00:09:16,942 --> 00:09:17,942
Gee.

160
00:09:18,027 --> 00:09:21,364
It's... It's just like when your mom takes
a dress out of the dryer,

161
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puts it on and it... and it clings to
every supple curve and soft, round...

162
00:09:25,576 --> 00:09:26,952
[CLATTERING]

163
00:09:27,119 --> 00:09:28,704
Oh, hi, Frank.

164
00:09:29,664 --> 00:09:31,332
Why don't you
run along now, Billy.

165
00:09:31,499 --> 00:09:33,459
Next week don't forget
to bring in those magazines

166
00:09:33,584 --> 00:09:35,169
you found under your father's bed.

167
00:09:35,294 --> 00:09:37,755
Okay, Mr. Olson. Bye.

168
00:09:38,714 --> 00:09:41,384
- What you got, Ted?
- Not very much, Frank.

169
00:09:41,550 --> 00:09:44,679
I did a complete rundown on the rock
that came through your window.

170
00:09:44,804 --> 00:09:47,640
No fingerprints,
no laundry marks.

171
00:09:47,765 --> 00:09:49,809
- It's clean.
- Mmm-hmm.

172
00:09:49,934 --> 00:09:52,311
It's a heck of
an efficient weapon, Frank.

173
00:09:52,436 --> 00:09:55,147
You have to admire
the simplicity of design.

174
00:09:55,272 --> 00:09:56,982
Where'd it come from?

175
00:09:57,108 --> 00:10:00,486
It's very interesting.
I have a theory about that.

176
00:10:05,658 --> 00:10:07,493
[PROJECTOR CLICKING]

177
00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:10,621
OLSON: As you know, Frank,
billions of years ago

178
00:10:10,746 --> 00:10:12,415
our Earth was a molten mass.

179
00:10:12,581 --> 00:10:13,999
[CLICKING]

180
00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:16,460
But for some reason,
not understood by scientists,

181
00:10:16,585 --> 00:10:20,172
the Earth cooled,
forming a crust,

182
00:10:20,339 --> 00:10:22,883
a hard igneous shell.

183
00:10:23,050 --> 00:10:25,803
What we scientists call rock.

184
00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:34,478
[DREBIN] The next morning, Officer
Norberg and I continued our business

185
00:10:34,645 --> 00:10:36,439
as if nothing had happened.

186
00:10:36,564 --> 00:10:39,775
But I knew we hadn't seen
the last of our two persuasive friends.

187
00:10:39,942 --> 00:10:42,695
They were obviously determined
to control the neighbourhood,

188
00:10:42,862 --> 00:10:46,073
and I was determined
to try to stop them any way I could.

189
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,076
- Uh, something I can do for you?
- Ox smith?

190
00:10:49,243 --> 00:10:51,829
No, no, no, no, locksmith.

191
00:10:51,996 --> 00:10:53,748
- Locksmith.
- [LOWING]

192
00:10:57,084 --> 00:10:58,502
Hi, Norberg.

193
00:10:58,669 --> 00:11:01,630
Glad you're back, Lieutenant.
Business is booming.

194
00:11:01,797 --> 00:11:04,008
I just got a huge order
to deliver some deadbolts.

195
00:11:04,175 --> 00:11:05,468
[CLATTERING]

196
00:11:08,429 --> 00:11:10,890
- Be back in a few minutes.
- No problem.

197
00:11:13,142 --> 00:11:14,560
[DOORBELL JINGLING]

198
00:11:19,690 --> 00:11:23,319
Well, if it isn't
the insurance salesmen.

199
00:11:23,444 --> 00:11:25,821
You should be more careful
with your property.

200
00:11:25,988 --> 00:11:27,656
Yeah, we heard you had
a bad accident.

201
00:11:27,782 --> 00:11:29,909
It's too bad you weren't protected.

202
00:11:30,075 --> 00:11:33,204
The way I look at it,
you owe me $100 for that window.

203
00:11:33,370 --> 00:11:36,624
Us? I don't know what
you're talking about.

204
00:11:36,791 --> 00:11:38,918
So, how do you explain this?

205
00:11:40,503 --> 00:11:43,964
Well, billions of years ago,
the Earth was a molten mass.

206
00:11:44,089 --> 00:11:48,344
I'm not interested in that.
You owe me $100. Now cough it up.

207
00:11:49,011 --> 00:11:50,805
[COUGHING]

208
00:11:53,182 --> 00:11:54,600
That's only a 20.

209
00:11:56,519 --> 00:11:57,853
Rocky.

210
00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:12,952
[MEN GRUNTING]

211
00:12:15,287 --> 00:12:16,580
[CLUCKING]

212
00:12:21,043 --> 00:12:22,294
[SCREAMS]

213
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:33,305
Why don't you lie there
till Tuesday.

214
00:12:33,639 --> 00:12:35,808
That's when they
pick up the garbage.

215
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:38,978
[CHEERING]

216
00:12:42,273 --> 00:12:44,567
[WHISTLING]

217
00:12:59,081 --> 00:13:01,041
[MAN] You idiots.

218
00:13:01,792 --> 00:13:06,005
You stupid, lame-brained,
inept morons!

219
00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:08,090
What's wrong, Dutch?

220
00:13:08,257 --> 00:13:10,676
[MIMICKING]
What's wrong, Dutch?

221
00:13:10,843 --> 00:13:13,637
You make a hero
out of a punk like that,

222
00:13:13,804 --> 00:13:17,683
he will start getting ideas.
They think we're soft.

223
00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:22,313
Pretty soon, we're out of business.
I'll take care of this myself.

224
00:13:22,438 --> 00:13:25,399
Well, when you get through with him,
can we work him over?

225
00:13:25,566 --> 00:13:27,902
I'm afraid that won't be possible.

226
00:13:29,486 --> 00:13:32,865
When I get through with him,
he'll be dead.

227
00:13:42,833 --> 00:13:45,210
Okay, that'll be eight padlocks,

228
00:13:45,377 --> 00:13:50,090
five combos, two deadbolts
and a dozen hide-a-keys.

229
00:13:50,215 --> 00:13:54,136
By the way, would you be interested
in our holiday gift set?

230
00:13:54,303 --> 00:13:57,514
All right, I just thought I'd ask.
Be right over.

231
00:14:01,018 --> 00:14:02,436
Got a delivery, Frank.

232
00:14:02,561 --> 00:14:04,021
Right, Norberg.

233
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:07,983
[DOORBELL JINGLING]

234
00:14:14,323 --> 00:14:16,075
May I help you?

235
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,870
Yes, I'd like my apartment key
duplicated, please.

236
00:14:23,165 --> 00:14:24,959
Well, I think I can handle that.

237
00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:28,003
[CLATTERING]

238
00:14:28,504 --> 00:14:30,422
Miss, uh...

239
00:14:30,589 --> 00:14:32,174
Call me Stella.

240
00:14:32,299 --> 00:14:34,343
All right, Stella.

241
00:14:34,510 --> 00:14:38,263
You know, uh, you can tell a lot
about a woman by her keys.

242
00:14:38,430 --> 00:14:39,640
Oh, really?

243
00:14:39,807 --> 00:14:42,893
Oh, yes.
Take my key, for example.

244
00:14:43,060 --> 00:14:46,563
It's silver-plated,
indicating that, um,

245
00:14:46,689 --> 00:14:49,274
I'm a woman who likes
the finer things in life.

246
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:50,943
I see.

247
00:14:51,110 --> 00:14:53,779
And the face of the key
is unscratched.

248
00:14:53,946 --> 00:14:56,949
That suggests I have
a gentle touch.

249
00:15:00,285 --> 00:15:02,162
I understand.

250
00:15:02,287 --> 00:15:04,748
Uh, how many of these apartment keys
would you like?

251
00:15:04,873 --> 00:15:06,333
Fifty.

252
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:09,753
You can mail 49 of them
to the Chicago Bears.

253
00:15:12,214 --> 00:15:16,593
Well. And where would you
like the 50th sent?

254
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,846
Just bring it around
to my apartment.

255
00:15:19,013 --> 00:15:21,432
You do deliver, don't you?

256
00:15:22,141 --> 00:15:23,600
[WHISPERING] Of course.

257
00:15:24,226 --> 00:15:27,312
3:00, then.
Just let yourself in.

258
00:15:36,405 --> 00:15:38,073
[DOORBELL JINGLING]

259
00:15:39,908 --> 00:15:42,161
[DREBIN] It took me two weeks
to find Stella's apartment.

260
00:15:42,286 --> 00:15:44,496
She had neglected
to give me her address.

261
00:15:44,663 --> 00:15:46,915
But I had a feeling
she'd still be waiting for me.

262
00:15:47,708 --> 00:15:48,708
[DOG BARKING]

263
00:15:48,751 --> 00:15:52,087
Hey, come on. Good boy.

264
00:15:52,254 --> 00:15:53,839
[KEY TURNING IN LOCK]

265
00:15:55,007 --> 00:15:56,007
[BARKING]

266
00:16:17,279 --> 00:16:19,782
That's not exactly my idea
of a warm welcome.

267
00:16:19,948 --> 00:16:22,618
- I thought you were a burglar.
- Oh, cuts quite a story.

268
00:16:22,743 --> 00:16:25,245
I deliver the key as promised.
You shoot me as a burglar.

269
00:16:25,412 --> 00:16:26,622
That's your story.

270
00:16:26,789 --> 00:16:28,373
[PHONE RINGING]

271
00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:30,334
[DREBIN] That's the telephone.

272
00:16:32,669 --> 00:16:34,129
Pick it up.

273
00:16:37,132 --> 00:16:38,550
Hello.

274
00:16:38,675 --> 00:16:40,511
Hello, baby. This is Dutch.

275
00:16:40,677 --> 00:16:42,971
You take care of that
locksmith for me?

276
00:16:43,138 --> 00:16:46,266
Now you say what I tell you.
Everything is taken care of.

277
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:51,230
- Everything is taken care of.
- [DUTCH] That's my girl.

278
00:16:51,396 --> 00:16:53,649
I'd sure like to see you.

279
00:16:53,816 --> 00:16:55,484
I'd sure like to see you.

280
00:16:56,318 --> 00:16:59,613
Sure thing, baby.
You still love me?

281
00:17:00,364 --> 00:17:02,783
Of course I love you.

282
00:17:02,908 --> 00:17:04,910
Of course I love you.

283
00:17:05,035 --> 00:17:07,704
You don't sound like
you mean it, lambikins.

284
00:17:09,706 --> 00:17:13,460
Of course I mean it, lambikins.

285
00:17:13,627 --> 00:17:17,005
Of course I mean it, lambikins.

286
00:17:17,422 --> 00:17:19,842
Do you really, binky poo?

287
00:17:20,676 --> 00:17:24,388
More than anything,
schnooky lumps.

288
00:17:24,555 --> 00:17:27,683
More than anything,
schnooky lumps.

289
00:17:28,392 --> 00:17:31,520
Schnooky lumps?
Oh, I like that.

290
00:17:31,645 --> 00:17:34,314
Schnooky lumps.
You never called me that before.

291
00:17:34,439 --> 00:17:37,484
[DUTCH] Hey, what happened
last night to bring this on?

292
00:17:37,651 --> 00:17:40,696
When you held me in your manly arms
and crushed me to your lips,

293
00:17:40,821 --> 00:17:43,365
I discovered what it meant
to be a real woman.

294
00:17:43,532 --> 00:17:46,076
When I think of your handsome face,
your cruel lips,

295
00:17:46,243 --> 00:17:49,830
your strong chin, the way you touch,
the way you smother me with kisses...

296
00:17:49,955 --> 00:17:52,082
Honey, I gotta go. Um...

297
00:17:52,249 --> 00:17:54,001
Meet me at my office
tomorrow at 3:00.

298
00:17:54,877 --> 00:17:56,503
[WHISPERING] All right, darling.

299
00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:58,297
All right, darling.

300
00:18:05,512 --> 00:18:07,264
What are you going to do now?

301
00:18:08,849 --> 00:18:11,101
You and I are going
down to headquarters.

302
00:18:13,478 --> 00:18:16,523
[DREBIN] I booked Stella on
an attempted murder charge.

303
00:18:16,648 --> 00:18:19,443
I had a stop to make
before I kept my date with Dutch.

304
00:18:20,319 --> 00:18:21,403
[CLANKING]

305
00:18:27,201 --> 00:18:29,411
[DREBIN] What's the word
in the streets, Johnny?

306
00:18:29,578 --> 00:18:31,163
I hear a lot of things.

307
00:18:31,330 --> 00:18:33,540
What do you know
about Dutch Gunderson?

308
00:18:34,958 --> 00:18:38,003
He grew up an orphan
on the Lower South Side.

309
00:18:38,128 --> 00:18:42,424
His mother, a prostitute,
died when he was only three.

310
00:18:42,591 --> 00:18:45,969
He started stealing apples
at the age of six.

311
00:18:46,136 --> 00:18:48,889
Spent a lifetime in juvenile hall.

312
00:18:49,681 --> 00:18:52,100
All he's ever known is
the world of crime.

313
00:18:53,644 --> 00:18:55,687
This doesn't excuse what he does,

314
00:18:55,854 --> 00:18:58,357
but I think we understand him
a little better.

315
00:18:59,024 --> 00:19:02,402
I got 20 asking for concrete evidence
against Dutch.

316
00:19:06,990 --> 00:19:10,160
I know none of this is
admissible, Lieutenant,

317
00:19:10,327 --> 00:19:14,248
but I got some photostats
of a couple of business dealings

318
00:19:14,373 --> 00:19:16,875
that make your guy
look pretty dirty.

319
00:19:18,043 --> 00:19:19,336
Thanks, Johnny.

320
00:19:19,503 --> 00:19:22,047
It seems I've got
a 3:15 appointment.

321
00:19:23,006 --> 00:19:24,299
3200.

322
00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:27,803
Well.

323
00:19:27,928 --> 00:19:30,389
[SIRENS WAILING]

324
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,603
Johnny, there's a fire
in the Brubaker Building.

325
00:19:36,728 --> 00:19:38,897
I don't know anything about it.

326
00:19:47,864 --> 00:19:50,033
That's a furniture warehouse.

327
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,452
Once the fire hits the polyvinyl,

328
00:19:52,577 --> 00:19:56,081
you'll have dense smoke
and lethal chlorine gas.

329
00:19:57,249 --> 00:20:00,585
Extinguish the main part
of the fire with pump trucks and with foam.

330
00:20:00,711 --> 00:20:03,964
And bring in a cherry picker
to evacuate the survivors.

331
00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:05,632
Thanks, Johnny.

332
00:20:05,757 --> 00:20:07,843
Men, get your gas masks.

333
00:20:07,968 --> 00:20:10,345
I want a cherry picker over here.
All right, let's move it!

334
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,853
Oh, you're right on time, lambikins.

335
00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:20,647
- Make yourself a drink, baby.
- No, thanks, Dutch.

336
00:20:22,065 --> 00:20:24,067
Who are you,
and how did you get in here?

337
00:20:24,234 --> 00:20:26,778
I'm the locksmith
and I'm a locksmith.

338
00:20:28,822 --> 00:20:31,199
I'm surprised to see you're still alive,
locksmith.

339
00:20:31,366 --> 00:20:32,951
[MEOWING]

340
00:20:33,076 --> 00:20:36,204
Stella usually doesn't miss.

341
00:20:36,371 --> 00:20:39,249
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Just lucky, I guess.

342
00:20:41,668 --> 00:20:44,921
- [WHIMPERING]
- Well, your luck has just run out.

343
00:20:45,088 --> 00:20:47,299
Oh, you don't think I'm gonna come
and see the professor

344
00:20:47,466 --> 00:20:49,092
without doing my homework?

345
00:20:49,259 --> 00:20:51,845
That should make
interesting reading to the police.

346
00:20:52,637 --> 00:20:54,973
Uh, that's a photostat.
You can keep it.

347
00:20:58,185 --> 00:20:59,394
[WHIMPERING]

348
00:21:01,813 --> 00:21:04,274
You got guts, locksmith.

349
00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:07,069
Well, what's your game?

350
00:21:08,278 --> 00:21:10,739
Dutch, I see what
your organization takes in.

351
00:21:10,864 --> 00:21:12,949
I wanna become part of it.

352
00:21:14,284 --> 00:21:15,744
Interesting.

353
00:21:17,579 --> 00:21:20,582
I might have a job for you.

354
00:21:20,707 --> 00:21:24,044
I'm having some trouble
with a certain tailor in the neighbourhood.

355
00:21:24,169 --> 00:21:26,254
Want me to collect from the tailor?

356
00:21:26,380 --> 00:21:27,672
No.

357
00:21:28,673 --> 00:21:30,717
I want you to kill him.

358
00:21:35,263 --> 00:21:38,100
See, it's not that I'm not grateful
for the police protection, Captain,

359
00:21:38,225 --> 00:21:41,103
it's... it's just that
it's a little disruptive.

360
00:21:41,228 --> 00:21:43,397
We just want you
to be safe, ma'am.

361
00:21:43,563 --> 00:21:46,233
That's why we brought
the undercover men.

362
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,485
- Captain?
- Yeah.

363
00:21:48,652 --> 00:21:52,197
Lieutenant Drebin just called.
They're hitting the old tailor tonight.

364
00:21:52,364 --> 00:21:54,324
You see, Captain,
I will be just fine for now.

365
00:21:54,491 --> 00:21:56,410
Now, couldn't you take
your squad away?

366
00:21:56,535 --> 00:21:58,175
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING
ON RECORD PLAYER]

367
00:21:58,245 --> 00:22:00,330
Okay, let's go.

368
00:22:16,138 --> 00:22:17,347
Hey!

369
00:22:18,432 --> 00:22:20,016
Hey, what's the idea?

370
00:22:20,183 --> 00:22:22,102
There's been a switch.

371
00:22:22,269 --> 00:22:24,312
We're hitting the dance teacher tonight.

372
00:22:24,479 --> 00:22:27,274
Something wrong, locksmith?

373
00:22:27,399 --> 00:22:30,777
- Of course not.
- So, let's go.

374
00:22:43,373 --> 00:22:45,542
Lieutenant,
what are you doing here?

375
00:22:45,667 --> 00:22:47,419
The other policemen
just... just left.

376
00:22:47,586 --> 00:22:51,465
So, you're a cop.
I should've known.

377
00:22:52,382 --> 00:22:56,178
That's all right.
That's one mistake we can fix real easy.

378
00:22:56,303 --> 00:22:58,013
Get over there, sister.

379
00:22:58,972 --> 00:23:02,642
All right, Rock,
let's kill us two birds with one stone.

380
00:23:07,981 --> 00:23:10,233
- [SCREAMING]
- Jill! Jill!

381
00:23:15,906 --> 00:23:17,282
Look out!
He's got a knife!

382
00:23:19,367 --> 00:23:21,077
Look out!
He's got a club!

383
00:23:23,538 --> 00:23:25,081
He's got a signed Picasso!

384
00:23:30,212 --> 00:23:33,298
Look out! He's got herpes!
He's got cold sores.

385
00:23:52,484 --> 00:23:54,611
Jill, call the Police Squad.

386
00:24:08,208 --> 00:24:09,376
Hey, Ed.

387
00:24:09,543 --> 00:24:11,294
- Frank.
- Good news.

388
00:24:11,419 --> 00:24:14,631
Just picked up Dutch Gunderson.
That wraps up his operation.

389
00:24:15,632 --> 00:24:19,094
You know, Frank,
fear is a terrible thing.

390
00:24:19,261 --> 00:24:21,638
Makes people forget
their duties as citizens.

391
00:24:21,805 --> 00:24:23,932
Yeah. Well, there's one thing for sure.

392
00:24:24,057 --> 00:24:26,268
If Gunderson wants to run
a protection racket,

393
00:24:26,434 --> 00:24:29,187
from now on he's gonna have to do it
in the Stateville Prison.

394
00:24:30,272 --> 00:24:31,731
Say when, Frank.

395
00:24:31,856 --> 00:24:33,149
When.

396
00:24:34,276 --> 00:24:36,361
[COFFEE SPILLING]

397
00:24:51,042 --> 00:24:54,129
[MALE NARRATOR] Be sure to tune in
next week for another exciting story

398
00:24:54,296 --> 00:24:56,798
from the files of Police Squad!

