04 Police Squad Episode 4 - 1982 English

[MALE NARRATOR]
Police Squad! In colour.

Starring Leslie Nielsen.

Also starring Alan North.

[GUNS FIRING]

[SCREAMING]

And Rex Hamilton
as Abraham Lincoln.

[GUN FIRING]

Tonight's special guest star,
William Shatner.

- [MAN] Hey, you!
- [GUN FIRING]

Tonight's episode, The Guilty Alibi.

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[DOOR CREAKING]

[SLURPING]

Oh, it's only you, Ralph.
How's it going?

Great!

[EXCLAIMS]

[CRASHING]

[DOOR CREAKING]

[BAILIFF] The Superior Court of the County
of Fordham is now in session.

The Honourable
J. Oliver Maxwell presiding.

You may be seated.

The court will come to order.

[EXPLOSION]

Uh, there will be
a five minute recess.

My name is Lieutenant Frank Drebin,
Police Squad,

a special unit
of the police department.

I was having my car washed when
I received an urgent call from downtown.

There had been a bombing
at the courthouse.

I got to headquarters
as fast as I could.

- Hi, Ed.
- Oh, Frank.

What do you got for me?

A size able explosion over
at the criminal courts building.

- Coffee, Frank?
- Sure.

Yeah, that poor judge
never stood a chance.

Anyone else hurt?

No, some minor injuries,
but nothing serious.

- A doughnut, Frank?
- Yeah, thanks.

Sounds like the judge was a target.
What do we got on him?

Well, his name was
J. Oliver Maxwell.

He'd been on the bench
for 25 years.

Had a reputation
for harsh sentences.

- A revenge killing?
- Well, that was my thought, Frank.

I've got Marcus and Drake going through
the records of recently released prisoners.

Turns out that
seven of those guys

were sent up
by Judge Maxwell himself.

Here, I've made out a list for you.

Ah, Monroe, Lynch,

Barker, Fanning, Smith,
Brookhouse, Casales.

[TYPEWRITER DINGING]

Wait a minute.
That name rings a bell.

Eddie Casales?

[BELL DINGS]

- Casals...
- [BELL BUZZES]

- Casales...
- [BELL RINGS]

- Casals...
- [BELL TOLLS]

Say, wasn't that the guy
that was convicted of bombing

- about six or seven years ago?
- Right.

And I remember him as being
a pretty tough customer.

Yeah.

Al? You got that file
on Eddie Casales?

- Got it right here.
- Thanks.

Oh, and Al, get yourself a haircut.
You look ridiculous.

Sorry, Captain, I was just trying
something different.

Here we are. Casales, age 40,
sentenced 12 years Stateville Prison

for two counts wilful
destruction of property,

possession of explosives
without a permit.

No previous felony record.

Paroled last month
after serving seven years.

Well, according to this, Frank,
he was a model prisoner.

[DREBIN] Motive and M.O. fit.

Yeah, well, it's as good
a place as any to start.

Here's his last known address.

Evidently his ex-wife
still lives there.

Let's check out
this Eddie Casales.

Right.

[DREBIN] Our file on Casales
pointed out the fact

that he had been divorced
while in prison.

His wife buried herself
in charity work to ease the pain.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Yes?

- Are you Lana Casales?
- Yes.

Lieutenant Drebin,
Captain Hocken, Police Squad.

May we ask you some questions?

Oh, well, certainly.
Come on in.

Thank you.

I hope you'll excuse the mess. I've been
packing up a few things for charity.

- Uh-huh.
- May I take your coat, Captain?

Thank you.

I suppose this has something
to do with Eddie?

I'm afraid so.

It's about the courthouse bombing,
isn't it?

Well, it's in all the papers.

- Oh, let me take that.
- Oh, thank you.

Have you, uh, seen or heard from Eddie
since he's been released?

We haven't spoken much
since the divorce.

It's just as well.

Do you know where Eddie
is right now?

You might try the Club Flamingo.

He hangs out there
with some chorus girl,

a floozy named Mimi Du Jour.

Du Jour. Is she French?

That's just her stage name.
Her real name is Mimi Coffee.

- HOCKEN: Coffee?
- No, thank you.

[DREBIN] It seemed Lana welcomed
this opportunity to pour her heart out.

At first she and Eddie
had a good marriage,

regular jobs, close friends, a dentist.

She thought it would last forever.
Slowly he began to change.

When Eddie's criminal
activities became known,

they were run from town
like common pygmies.

We waited until
she had finished her story,

then we left
on what we hoped would be

a rendezvous with Eddie Casales.

That evening we caught
Mimi Du Jour's show

at the Club Flamingo.

We hoped a talk with her
would be half as revealing as her act.

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

[MIMI] Yeah?

- Mimi Du Jour?
- Yeah.

I'm Lieutenant Drebin.
This is Captain Hocken, Police Squad.

Is this some kind of bust?

Yes, it's very impressive,
but we'd just like to ask a few questions.

Well, come on in.

Thank you. We'll try not to take up
too much of your time.

- Do you mind if I change?
- Not at all.

We understand you're acquainted
with a certain Eddie Casales.

Yeah. Why do you ask?

Just wanna ask him some questions.

He's not in
any kind of trouble, is he?

Well, we're not sure.
Do you know where we can find him?

I have no idea.

All right, let's get moving.
You're on stage in five minutes.

There's a misunderstanding.
We're police officers.

Police officers?

- Five minutes.
- [PEOPLE CHEERING]

Did you by any chance,
uh, have any occasion to know

where Eddie was last night?

Last night?
Why, yes, he-he was with me.

We went to the movies.

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

On the Waterfront.

Come on. There are no movie theatres
on the waterfront.

- Mimi, you ready?
- Eddie!

Hey, creeps, beat it!
I'm taking the lady home.

They're cops, Eddie.

Eddie, we'd like to ask you
a few questions.

Two minutes and I'm not kidding.
You a policeman, too?

No, I'm an ex-con.

Ex-con.

Two minutes.

What were you doing on the waterfront
last night, Eddie?

I wasn't on the waterfront.
I was at the movies.

That's not what she says.

All right, can it.
I know why you guys are here.

You're trying to pin
that court bombing on me.

We were getting around to that.

Yeah, well, a lot of guys
could have clone it.

Boy, you cops never give
an ex-con a break.

I try to put my past behind me,
but every time I turn around,

well, there's somebody there
telling me who I am or where I've been.

- It's like you're branded for life.
- We're sorry about that, Eddie.

Don't plan on leaving town.
We might want to talk to you again.

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

Didn't you tell them
I was at the movies?

Sure, just like you said, Eddie.
I'd never cross you up.

Yeah. Good girl.

- [CAT SQUEALING]
- So you see, Katie,

fish have gills to extract
oxygen from water,

but... but air-breathing species
have lungs

which are equipped only to accept oxygen
in its natural state.

And that's why most mammals
must live on land.

Wow, that's neat!

Oh, hi, Frank.

Would you like to keep him, Katie?

Can I?

Gee, thanks, Mr. Olson.

Why don't you run
along now, Katie,

and next week I'll show you
why women can't play professional football.

Okay. Bye, Mr. Olson.

Any Progress, Ted?

Some. Look at this.

We've been sorting through the fragments
left by the bombing.

And we've been able to reconstruct
the part of the courtroom

where the explosion occurred.

- What's the bomb made from?
- I've analysed the fragments.

We found traces of seven common
household chemicals.

When mixed together in the proper ratios,
they can be highly unstable.

What you're saying is that anyone
with a high school knowledge of chemistry

- could have made the bomb.
- Right.

It's a fairly crude explosive,
not the work of a professional.

- [GLASS SHATTERING]
- Hey, watch it!

Hey, Frank, take it easy.

I'm sorry, Ted.

Doctor says that
too much caffeine makes me edgy.

Why don't you try some of this?

It's decaffeinated coffee.

Decaffeinated, huh?

Well, I'll give it a try.

- Ted.
- [OLSON] Oh, hi, Frank.

You were right
about that coffee.

I sure feel better now.

[GLASS SHATTERING]

Well, accidents will happen.

[LAUGHING]

- [CRASHING]
- [DREBIN EXCLAIMING]

[DREBIN LAUGHING]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[TIMER TICKING]

[MAN] [ON RADIO] ...kinda cold
in that section of the country.

Locally, it is 68 degrees
under partly cloudy skies...

[MAN COUGHING ON RADIO]

[MAN] [ON RADIO] No reports
of traffic congestion

[COUGHING] on any of the major freeways
coming into midtown.

[COUGHING]

[NORBERG] [ON BULLHORN]
Disperse! Please disperse!

There's nothing
for you to see here.

Please go home.
Keep moving, please.

Keep moving.

[WOMAN CHATTERING ON RADIO]

- Glad you're here, Frank.
- What do you got, Ed?

Victim's name was John Symington.
He was a trial lawyer.

Oh, and this'll interest you.

- He used to be an assistant DA.
- Uh-huh.

Seven years ago
he prosecuted Eddie Casales.

- That's quite a coincidence.
- Yeah.

I can't believe anybody would do
something so cruel.

Senseless brutality, senseless waste.

Cut down in the prime of life.

That car was a classic. A '68.

Do you suppose the widow
would take $1,500 for it?

No, there's the tow truck.

What do you think, Ed?

Well, my guess, Frank,
is it's the same sort of a bomb.

The strange thing is,
we haven't been able to find the body.

- That was quite an explosion.
- Yeah.

Well, our job's done here.

Yeah, we better get
back to headquarters.

What time is it?

Mmm, it's later than I thought.

[NORBERG] Lieutenant,

I found this on the curb
next to the car.

[DREBIN] Club Flamingo.

I think we better have a talk
with Eddie Casales.

Mmm.

I'm telling you, you got nothing on me.
You're wasting your time.

[DREBIN] All right, Eddie.
Let's go over it again.

Where were you last night?

I told you a dozen times.
I was at the movies.

I've got the sandwiches here.

All right, Eddie, you went to the movies.
Now what did you see?

I told you, I don't remember!

Uh, who had the egg salad?

[MIMICKING EDDIE]
I don't remember.

Somebody ordered it.

You can't expect us to buy that.

But I already paid for it.

Why don't you give a guy a break?

- Thanks a lot.
- What's the charge, huh?

- Uh, $4.58.
- What're you trying to do, insult us?

Okay, $3.50.
Coffee's on me.

I told you. I went to the movies.
I fell asleep. I don't remember.

You don't expect us
to swallow that!

All right, I'll eat it.

But I don't think it's fair
that I should have to pay for it.

All right, Eddie.
Let's say you did go to the movies.

Okay.

[ALL] You did go to the movies.

Then let's say that you were
nowhere near the Club Flamingo.

All right.

[ALL] You were nowhere
near the Club Flamingo.

Then explain this to me.

Well, you take this little
cardboard stick out

with sulphur on the end
and you rub it on the edges

- and it makes fire.
- Don't play dumb with me, Eddie.

You spend a lot of time
at the Club Flamingo.

Yeah, well, so did a lot of guys.
It was a popular club.

AL: Captain,
can you take a phone call?

Not now, Al.

Why don't you come clean? Make
it easy on yourself. Tell us the truth.

Well, I ain't talking!
You got nothing to book me on!

Frank.

I'm afraid he's right.
We're gonna have to let him go.

All the evidence we've got
is purely circumstantial.

Yeah, you're right.

Tell that bomber to take off.

[PLANE ENGINE ROARING]

[DREBIN] When I got home
I received a call from Mimi Du Jour.

She said she wanted to see me
at the club right away.

Since I had no idea
where the Club Right away was,

I suggested the Club Flamingo.
She agreed.

- May I check your coat?
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, Mimi Du Jour.

Oh, Lieutenant,
thank you for coming.

- Cigarette?
- Yes, I know.

Well, what can I do for you?

It's about Eddie.

I... I can't cover for him any more.

- Ricardo, two more, please.
- What do you mean?

- I lied. He never took me to the movies.
- What?

[ENUNCIATING LOUDLY]
I lied. He never took me to the movies.

- Where'd he go?
- Out somewhere.

He told me it was best
if I didn't know anything.

If he's mixed up in all this trouble,
I don't wanna be part of it.

And if it's another girl he's seeing,

- [SLURPING]
- I don't wanna be a sap.

Mmm. I understand.

No, you don't.

You don't know how hard it is
ratting on the guy you love.

I'm all Eddie's had
since he divorced his wife.

Wait a minute,
I thought Lana left him.

No. Now he has good reason
to dump me, too.

[CRYING]

Maybe I should have just
kept my big mouth shut.

[WHIMPERING]

[DREBIN] Mimi had done the right thing.

She had provided me with a few answers,
but now I needed more.

- Hi, Johnny.
- Hi.

I need some information
on a certain parolee.

You mean Eddie Casales?

Yeah, what do you
know about him?

Convicted bomber,
released a month ago.

- It's all in your files, Lieutenant.
- No, no, no, I need something personal.

What occupies his time?

Mimi Du Jour
and the Milwaukee Brewers.

Does he see many games?

Season tickets.

Beyond that,
I don't know nothing.

Thanks, Johnny.

Johnny, I've been getting a lot of mail
about the Cinderella complex.

So?

Women's fear of success
has left many of them confused

about their wants and needs.

Consequently,
stress-related burnout

has driven many women
from feminist aggression

to female passivity,

dependent upon their partner
for vicarious fulfilment.

Well, what do I tell them?

Tell them to get in touch with
their unconscious feelings

and to share in the growth process
with their partner.

Thanks, Johnny.

See you.

Uh, Lana, Lieutenant Drebin here.
We picked up Eddie.

But we had to release him.

We don't have enough
to hold him on.

Oh, he's such a vindictive man.

What will it take to put him
behind bars for good?

Well, we're lacking
that one piece of special evidence

that would make an airtight case.

In the meantime, Lana,
we're worried about you and Mimi.

- Mimi?
- Yeah, Mimi blew his alibi.

Now, Eddie knows the two of you
talked to the police and he's mad.

There's no predicting
what he might do.

We've offered Mimi police protection,

but she's tired of having
the cops hanging around.

I see.

Now, we're prepared to offer you
the same police protection.

That's very thoughtful, Lieutenant,
but it won't be necessary.

- I'm leaving town tonight.
- Oh, I see.

Ah, well, in the long run,
that might be just as well.

Listen, Lana,
in the meantime, be careful.

[DREBIN] Lana's attitude
seemed confusing.

[EXCLAIMING]

She was almost hostile toward Eddie,
yet she felt no threat from him.

Now she was suddenly leaving town.

Mimi was scared. She had to be.
She was a sitting duck.

She loved Eddie.
That was clear.

But if he was the bomber,
she knew there could be no future.

There was nothing we could do now
but wait for the bomber's next move

and hope we could stop him
before he struck again.

[SLURPING]

Is she still there, Frank?

Yeah.

You've gotta hand it to Mimi.

Her life's in danger
and yet she won't run away.

Mmm.

[SLURPING]

[SLURPING]

[SLURPING]

- Hmm?
- Hold it.

There's someone over there.
Let's go.

It's time. We've spotted the suspect
and we're going in.

[MAN] Roger, we copy.
We have you in view.

Not so loud.

[MAN] Sorry, we didn't copy that.

- Will you be quiet?
- [MAN] Roger. Ready to assist.

HOCKEN: Okay, hold it!

[DREBIN] Not this time, Lana.
The game's over.

- Stand back!
- Now, make it easy on yourself.

We know you did
the other bombings.

I'm warning you, Lieutenant.
Don't come any closer

or I'll blow this
whole neighbourhood sky high.

Get back!
Get back all of you.

You people are in great danger.

Now someone could get hurt.
Now get back.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[CRASHING]

Listen to me.
Get your hands off that detonator.

Forget it, Lieutenant. You set me up.
If I can't have Eddie back,

I'll make sure that Mimi
can't have him either.

[DREBIN] Wait!

I don't understand, I...

[SIRENS WAILING]

Eddie!

Just in time, Eddie.

- Piece of cake, Lieutenant.
- No, thanks. I just ate.

Well, Lana, you didn't
leave town tonight,

but you'll be leaving soon
for the Stateville Prison.

Okay, boys, run her in.

- Here you are, Ed.
- Oh, thanks, Frank.

Well, it looks like
Lana'll be doing her bombing

up in the Stateville Prison
from now on.

Up there along with Sally Decker
and Martin and Gunderson.

You know, there's one thing
that still puzzles me about this case.

Now, you said Eddie
lied about his alibi?

Yeah, he wasn't at the movie.

He was over in Milwaukee
watching a baseball game.

Afraid to tell anyone
because crossing over the state line

- is a violation of parole.
- Parole violation, huh?

Well, what are we
gonna do about that?

Ah, forget it.

There are some things
you can't deprive a man of.

Well, I'll drink to that, Frank.

Say, Captain, what do you want me
to do with these files...

[MALE NARRATOR] Be sure to tune in
next week for another exciting story

from the files of Police Squad!