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03 Police Squad Episode 3 - 1982 English

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[MALE NARRATOR]
Police Squad! In colour.

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Starring Leslie Nielsen.

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Also starring Alan North.

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[GUNS FIRING]

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[SCREAMING]

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And Rex Hamilton
as Abraham Lincoln.

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[GUN FIRING]

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Tonight's special guest star,
Robert Goulet.

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[MAN] Ready, aim, fire!

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[GUN FIRES] — Ow!

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Tonight's episode,
A Bird in the Hand.

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[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

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[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

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Kingsley,

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mind if I dance
with my daughter?

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Of course not, Mr. Burton.

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You know, Terri,
this song is awfully difficult to dance to.

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Let's get them to
play something else.

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Fellas, could you play
something different?

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[ALL] Happy birthday to you

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Happy birthday to you

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Happy birthday, dear Terri

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Happy birthday to you

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Make a wish.

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Cake, everyone?

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Terri.

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Can I talk to you in private?

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Of course.

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Uh, let's go out
in the Japanese garden.

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[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

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- What is it, Kingsley?
- I just wanted to ask you,

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have you made up your mind
about marrying me yet?

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I need more time.

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But you said you'd give me
an answer by tonight.

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I'm not ready to give you
an answer.

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I love you, Terri.

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And I love you, too, Kingsley.

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- [SCREAMING]
- Hey!

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My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin,
Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad,

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a special division
of the police department.

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There had been a recent wave
of murders at the city zoo.

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I was bringing in a suspect

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when I got a call from headquarters
about the kidnapping of Terri Burton.

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I headed for the Burton mansion.

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Good evening.

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Evening.
Is this 808 Garboniforus Road?

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- Maple Street?
- Yes, sir, it is.

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I'm from Police Squad.
I'd like to see Captain Hocken.

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Of course, Lieutenant, uh, Flebner.

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Uh, Drebin. Do come in.

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Her name is Terri Burton.

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Excuse me.

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Frank, I'm glad you're here.

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- [DREBIN] What do you got, Ed?
- Uh, nothing so far.

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Nobody's seen or heard anything.

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[SONG ENDS]

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- Is there a ransom note?
- Yes, the butler found it.

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It was tied to this window
and thrown into the rock garden.

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I sent the note to the lab.

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They're demanding $1 million.

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Why would the lab
demand a million dollars?

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The kidnappers made
the demand, Frank.

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Oh.

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Uh, if you don't mind, Ed,

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I'd like to see
the scene of the abduction.

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Sure, right here.

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[MAN] The Abduction.
Scene one, take three.

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And I love you, too, Kingsley.

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- [SCREAMING]
- Hey!

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Who's the guy?

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His name's Kingsley Addison,
Terri's boyfriend.

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I sent him home, Frank.
He had a nasty bump on the head.

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Would you like to meet the parents
of the kidnapped girl?

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Of course.

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Oh, Frank, the pété's exquisite.

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Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Burton,
Lieutenant Drebin.

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- Mr. Drebin.
- The feeling is mutual.

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I know this is trying, but we've
got to ask you a few questions.

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- By all means.
- [PHONE RINGING]

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Could you tell me,
did your daughter receive any threats

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- on her safety recently?
- No, she didn't.

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This whole thing came
as a total shock to us.

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- Hello.
- [MAN MUMBLING]

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It's the kidnappers.

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Please,
let me speak to my daughter.

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All right, relax. Keep calm.
Norberg, get a tap to the phone.

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- Yes, sir.
- What'll I do?

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Keep the kidnapper on the phone
so we can trace the call. Go ahead.

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Where is my daughter?
Is she all right?

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Okay. I understand.

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No, no, please, don't hang up!

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Oh, oh, please,
don't hurt my daughter.

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I love her so much.

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Terri is safe, isn't she?

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No, don't hang up.
Please don't hang up.

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- Oh, is it cold where you are?
- [MAN MUMBLING]

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It's warm here.

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Oh, uh, who do you think will win
the NBA Pacific Division this year?

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Who do I think?
On, I go with LA.

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Oh, they need a little
deeper bench,

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but they have a really strong,
solid starting five.

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No, wait!
Well, uh, oh...

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If a train leaves New York
travelling 120 miles an hour

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and another train leaves Pittsburgh
driving 115 miles per hour,

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[NORBERG HAMMERING PHONE]

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What train do you suppose
will arrive in Chicago first?

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- [MAN MUMBLING]
- That's fight.

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Uh, wait, uh...

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Why do ducks and geese
fly south for the winter?

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Because it takes too long to walk.
[LAUGHS]

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- [DIAL TONE DRONING]
- Hello? Hello?

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- He hung up.
- It was a tough question.

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Norberg, did you get
the tap on the phone?

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Yes, but the kidnapper
wasn't on long enough to get a trace.

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Oh, and Mrs. Burton,
what time did the first train leave?

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[CRYING]

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[DREBIN] Just relax.
Everything's going to be all right.

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Mrs. Burton, what did he say?

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Just relax.
Everything's going to be all right.

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No, the kidnapper.

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He said he'll call us soon
with instructions for the money drop

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and if we don't do what he says,
he'll kill Terri.

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[SOBBING]

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Lieutenant Drebin, what do I do?

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Well, as I understand it,
you're in the textile business.

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I mean, I don't want
the police involved in this.

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Now, we've all got to work together
to capture this kidnapper.

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I'll pay whatever ransom is necessary
to get Terri back.

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No, that'd be giving in to them.

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These people are
emotionally unstable.

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Had a case like this, similar.
The kidnappers cut the victim's ear off

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- and sent it to the family.
- [EXCLAIMING]

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So you see,
you've got to let us help you.

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Not the whole ear, of course.
Just a piece of it.

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[CRYING]

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And when this whole thing blows over, we'll
return Terri's ear, if she's still alive.

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[CRYING]

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- She's taking it hard.
- Yeah. We'd better go, Frank.

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We'll leave Officer Norberg here.
If you need anything, just ask him.

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We'll be in touch.

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After we go,
I want you to nose around.

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- And keep an eye out for the ear.
- Yes, sir.

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Don't you worry, Mrs. Burton.
If Terri's ear comes, I'll handle it.

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[WAILING]

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[DREBIN] The next day, I decided to talk
with the one witness to the kidnapping,

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Kingsley Addison.

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Kingsley played basketball
every afternoon

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at the Shorwood
High School playground.

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I'd talk to him there.

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[TIRES SCREECHING]

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- [MAN 1] Over here!
- [MAN 2] Come on!

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[MAN 2] Come on, give it up,
give it up, come on!

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MAN 1: Now, now!

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[ALL CHATTERING]

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- Uh, Kingsley Addison?
- Yeah.

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- I'm Lieutenant Drebin, Police Squad.
- What do you want?

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Well, I'd like to ask you
a few questions.

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- About last night?
- That's right. What happened?

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Well, I remember Terri was grabbed.
Then I got hit.

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- Uh-huh.
- That's all I remember. Honest.

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Uh-huh.

163
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,880
Well, I understand you and Terri
were gonna get married.

164
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,851
Yeah, I wanted to marry her.
She, uh,

165
00:10:02,976 --> 00:10:05,562
just hadn't quite made up
her mind yet, that's all.

166
00:10:05,729 --> 00:10:07,147
Well, it doesn't sound to me

167
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like you were very sure
Terri was gonna say yes.

168
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[ALL CHEERING]

169
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:14,113
[MEN CHATTERING]

170
00:10:17,449 --> 00:10:19,910
Terri comes from
a large amount of money.

171
00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,537
Do you think you make enough

172
00:10:21,703 --> 00:10:23,598
to keep her in the lifestyle
she's accustomed to?

173
00:10:23,622 --> 00:10:25,624
Of course. I have a job.

174
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,960
Well, I've done
a little checking on that.

175
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:30,254
You owe a lot of money
to a lot of people.

176
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You need more than a job.

177
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,882
You think I'd marry Terri
for her money?

178
00:10:34,007 --> 00:10:35,425
I didn't say that.

179
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All right!

180
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[ALL WHOOPING]

181
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[DREBIN] it was too early
to dismiss Kingsley as the primary suspect.

182
00:10:46,895 --> 00:10:48,230
He needed money.

183
00:10:48,355 --> 00:10:50,858
An earlier check
indicated he was often seen socially

184
00:10:51,024 --> 00:10:53,694
with Joe Cooke and other members
of the Freddy Sega! Mob.

185
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:56,613
By marrying Terri,
he would come into a fortune,

186
00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:58,782
cementing his relationship
with the elite

187
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:01,702
and forever ensuring
a most luxurious lifestyle.

188
00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:05,205
I was en route to Police Squad,
when I got a call from dispatch.

189
00:11:05,372 --> 00:11:06,957
There was a new wrinkle.

190
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:09,293
The kidnapper had contacted
the Burton family

191
00:11:09,459 --> 00:11:11,461
with some additional information.

192
00:11:11,628 --> 00:11:13,547
When I arrived at
the Burton mansion,

193
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:16,175
Norberg and my boss
were already on the scene.

194
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,595
- [HOCKEN] Frank, I'm glad to see you.
- What do you got, Ed?

195
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:23,599
- I want you to give this a listen.
- This came in the mail.

196
00:11:23,765 --> 00:11:25,976
[TERRI] Mommy, Daddy.
Please do what he wants.

197
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:28,103
Give him the money.
I'm scared! I wanna...

198
00:11:28,228 --> 00:11:31,148
[MAN] That's enough. Further instructions
on the size of the ransom

199
00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:33,317
and where to deliver it will follow.

200
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:36,236
Oh, my baby.

201
00:11:36,403 --> 00:11:39,031
[SOBBING] My poor baby.

202
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:40,908
Well, what do you think?

203
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:45,162
Seems to be a little too much wow
and flutter from the right speaker.

204
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:46,455
You know, Frank,

205
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,416
we don't even have the spot
for the ransom drop yet.

206
00:11:49,541 --> 00:11:51,168
[EXCLAIMING]

207
00:11:53,128 --> 00:11:54,128
[GASPS]

208
00:12:04,139 --> 00:12:06,141
All right, buddy, talk.

209
00:12:06,266 --> 00:12:08,769
- [MIMING]
- Talk!

210
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,271
He can't, Frank.
Can't you see? He's a mime.

211
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:14,942
Huh?
All right, what do you got?

212
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,194
- What's this?
- It's charades, Frank.

213
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:19,238
Oh, great!
What's the teams?

214
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,531
[HOCKEN] Five words.

215
00:12:22,115 --> 00:12:23,617
- Finger.
- First word.

216
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:24,993
Good, Captain.

217
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:28,914
[DREBIN] [STAMMERING] Uh,
you're getting on something?

218
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,541
- A shirt!
- A car.

219
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:34,002
[DREBIN] Uh, woman, woman! Woman!

220
00:12:34,127 --> 00:12:36,380
Uh, a bust.
Sounds like bust. A bus!

221
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,048
- Bus!
- Of course.

222
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:40,884
[DREBIN] [STAMMERING]
You're driving around in the bus.

223
00:12:41,009 --> 00:12:42,820
You're going around on the bus.
You're looking...

224
00:12:42,844 --> 00:12:45,472
- You... You... You're going somewhere!
- To Iowa!

225
00:12:45,597 --> 00:12:48,058
[DREBIN] [STAMMERING]
You're in the bus and you're...

226
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:50,644
- [HOCKEN] You're parking the bus.
- It's a song title.

227
00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:52,688
Theme from A Summer Place.

228
00:12:52,854 --> 00:12:55,414
[STAMMERING] You're driving around
and you're looking for a place

229
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,943
[STUTTERING]
in a... in the

230
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,529
in a bus... bus depot, depot!

231
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,864
[NORBERG] Uh, a drink?

232
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,575
A protein shake! Thirsty.

233
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:06,994
Thirst.

234
00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:09,162
Thirst. You're tired.

235
00:13:09,329 --> 00:13:11,099
You say it's nighttime.
You're going to sleep.

236
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,803
You're in bed.
Your hand is shaking. Alarm.

237
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,751
The alarm is...
You're waking up!

238
00:13:14,918 --> 00:13:17,504
In a hotel room.
No. In a motel room.

239
00:13:17,629 --> 00:13:19,631
No, no, I got it!
In your aunt's house.

240
00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:21,651
You're waking up in the morning.
In the morning.

241
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:22,676
[ALL] Day. Day!

242
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:24,279
- [HOCKEN] Thirst day.
- [DREBIN] Thursday.

243
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:25,429
- Thirst day.
- Thursday.

244
00:13:25,595 --> 00:13:27,472
Thirst... Thursday.

245
00:13:27,597 --> 00:13:29,391
Thursday at the bus depot.

246
00:13:30,475 --> 00:13:32,394
- At 10:00.
- We win!

247
00:13:33,353 --> 00:13:36,565
- We did it, Captain!
- Not now, Norberg.

248
00:13:42,529 --> 00:13:44,129
We better get our ears
to the grindstone.

249
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,158
- We don't have too much time.
- Right.

250
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,462
[DREBIN] The kidnappers finally
contacted the Burtons

251
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:00,505
with specific ransom instructions.

252
00:14:00,672 --> 00:14:02,716
Our only hope of finding Terri
before the deadline

253
00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:05,135
was to get some clues
from the physical evidence.

254
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,179
I decided to return
to Police Squad

255
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,181
to see what the lab boys
had turned up.

256
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:10,640
So you see, Billy,

257
00:14:10,807 --> 00:14:12,726
this experiment will prove
the Earth's gravity

258
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:15,270
exerts the same pulling
force on any object,

259
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,147
no matter what size or weight.

260
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:20,150
- Gee!
- Let me show you what I've done.

261
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:22,611
The bowling ball
weighs 10 pounds.

262
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,112
[PULLEY SQUEAKING]

263
00:14:24,237 --> 00:14:26,281
Your next door neighbour,
Dr. Maurice Shoenbaum,

264
00:14:26,406 --> 00:14:28,200
weighs 175 pounds.

265
00:14:28,825 --> 00:14:31,370
Are you ready, Dr. Shoenbaum?

266
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:33,538
Now, Billy, I'll set this timer

267
00:14:33,663 --> 00:14:36,541
to drop the bowling ball
and Dr. Shoenbaum in one minute

268
00:14:36,666 --> 00:14:39,336
so that we can watch
from a safe distance.

269
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:41,296
Oh, hi, Frank.

270
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:42,839
Why don't you run
along now, Billy,

271
00:14:43,006 --> 00:14:45,486
and next week we'll discuss
10 things you can do with a carrot.

272
00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:47,427
Great. Bye, Mr. Olson.

273
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,097
What'd you come up with, Ted?

274
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:53,683
I've been analysing
that voice tape of Terri Burton.

275
00:14:53,850 --> 00:14:58,188
I've managed to isolate her voice
from the noises in the background.

276
00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,523
[COMPUTER BEEPING]

277
00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:00,899
Listen.

278
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,193
[TERRI] Mommy, Daddy,
please do what he wants.

279
00:15:03,318 --> 00:15:05,112
Give him the money.
I'm scared. I wanna...

280
00:15:05,278 --> 00:15:07,739
- [MAN] That's enough.
- What do you make of it?

281
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:11,535
Of course, I can't be
absolutely certain about this,

282
00:15:11,701 --> 00:15:13,912
but it sounds like
a bell and a foghorn.

283
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,497
[SHOENBAUM SCREAMING]

284
00:15:15,622 --> 00:15:17,791
[CRASHING]

285
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:21,503
The kind of sound
you'd associate with the ocean.

286
00:15:21,628 --> 00:15:23,422
Or the lakefront.

287
00:15:23,588 --> 00:15:25,215
Could be.

288
00:15:34,349 --> 00:15:37,352
- How's it going, Frank?
- Just came from the lab.

289
00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:39,330
- They come up with anything?
- No, nothing definite.

290
00:15:39,354 --> 00:15:40,834
Olson's come up
with a couple of clues

291
00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:43,000
that might indicate
where Terri Burton is being held.

292
00:15:43,024 --> 00:15:46,486
He's isolated the sound of a foghorn
and a ringing buoy on the ransom tape.

293
00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:48,491
We're gonna have to scour
the entire waterfront.

294
00:15:48,613 --> 00:15:49,823
What about your end?

295
00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:52,826
Well, Warner Burton
is trying to raise the ransom money.

296
00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:56,455
But putting together
a million dollars in small bills,

297
00:15:56,621 --> 00:15:58,540
that's a mean feat, Frank.

298
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,251
Let me tell you something else.

299
00:16:01,376 --> 00:16:04,171
The hoodlums who trade
in this kind of terror

300
00:16:04,337 --> 00:16:06,423
really make my skin crawl.

301
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,217
You think you're
gonna arrest me, don't you?

302
00:16:09,342 --> 00:16:12,471
Well, you're not!
'Cause I got the gun now.

303
00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:16,266
And I'm gonna kill all of you,
one by one.

304
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,104
Nice work, Frank.

305
00:16:21,688 --> 00:16:23,231
- What?
- Al?

306
00:16:25,066 --> 00:16:29,029
I want you to throw a dragnet
around the entire lakefront district.

307
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:32,073
Call Tactical, have them send you
a few more backup units.

308
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:33,533
Right away, sir.

309
00:16:33,658 --> 00:16:35,702
By the way, Al,
you're out of uniform again.

310
00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:38,038
Regulation headgear only.
You know that.

311
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,664
Sorry, Captain.

312
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:45,212
You know, Frank,
the fate of Terri Burton rests

313
00:16:45,378 --> 00:16:50,217
on our finding a foghorn,
a ringing buoy and one scared girl.

314
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:53,595
[ALL] One, two, three...

315
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,722
[DREBIN] Now, police
investigation involves

316
00:16:55,847 --> 00:16:59,100
meticulous attention to detail
and tireless attention to every clue

317
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,810
and the path to which it leads.

318
00:17:00,977 --> 00:17:03,522
The sound of a buoy
or foghorn on the ransom tape

319
00:17:03,688 --> 00:17:07,901
led me to the lakefront, where interviews
with several locals proved unsuccessful.

320
00:17:08,026 --> 00:17:09,861
We were working
against a deadline,

321
00:17:09,986 --> 00:17:13,323
and with each passing minute,
Terri's destiny became more precarious.

322
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:17,577
I had arrived at Police Squad
when Warner Burton arrived.

323
00:17:17,744 --> 00:17:19,663
Captain Hocken,
Lieutenant Drebin.

324
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:21,456
Did you raise the ransom money?

325
00:17:21,581 --> 00:17:23,583
- I have it right here.
- Good.

326
00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:25,835
I'm getting nervous, Lieutenant.

327
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,964
Time is running out
for my little girl.

328
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:32,425
I've got to know.
Where is she? Where is she?

329
00:17:32,592 --> 00:17:34,432
- Gesundheit.
- Everything is fine, Mr. Burton.

330
00:17:34,594 --> 00:17:37,430
Here, sit down, sit down.
Relax. Coffee?

331
00:17:37,597 --> 00:17:40,141
- Yes, I know.
- Well, now, Mr. Burton,

332
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,352
we have men combing
the entire lakefront area.

333
00:17:42,477 --> 00:17:44,077
If your daughter's close,
we'll find her.

334
00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:46,189
The lakefront! My God!

335
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:48,775
Do you know how
big that area is?

336
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:50,777
My daughter's a needle in a haystack!

337
00:17:50,902 --> 00:17:52,112
That's not true.

338
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,406
I've seen a picture of her.
She's very attractive.

339
00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:55,949
Maybe a little thin.

340
00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:58,743
But don't you worry.
We've got everything under control.

341
00:17:58,868 --> 00:18:01,538
Mr. Burton, we have men
working around the clock

342
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:03,665
trying to locate your daughter.

343
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:08,753
[DREBIN] Warner Burton's fears were real.
Time was running out for Terri.

344
00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:11,756
Ed and I drove around for hours
for no particular reason.

345
00:18:11,923 --> 00:18:13,550
We came up empty.

346
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,433
[BELL DINGS]

347
00:18:22,475 --> 00:18:24,102
Fill her up.

348
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:27,772
[BELL DINGS]

349
00:18:27,897 --> 00:18:28,940
- Hey. Ed?
- Huh?

350
00:18:29,065 --> 00:18:30,150
- You hear that?
- What?

351
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,275
- The ring.
- Oh, that's just the gas station hose.

352
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:33,737
No, no, no.

353
00:18:33,903 --> 00:18:36,364
Sounds like the bell
on Terri's tape.

354
00:18:36,489 --> 00:18:38,575
You mean, we've been looking
in the wrong place?

355
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:39,868
Exactly.

356
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:42,787
- Then what's the foghorn?
- Don't think foghorn.

357
00:18:42,912 --> 00:18:45,099
You still got that tape
that Norberg gave you for Christmas?

358
00:18:45,123 --> 00:18:47,083
Yeah.
It's in the glove compartment.

359
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:05,060
[TUBA PLAYING]

360
00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:09,898
That's not a foghorn.
That's a tuba.

361
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,441
Right.

362
00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:13,610
Come on, Ed.
We got a job to do.

363
00:19:15,111 --> 00:19:17,322
We're gonna have to check
every tuba rental, sales

364
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:21,117
and repair shop in town
that's close to a filling station.

365
00:19:22,243 --> 00:19:25,580
That's gonna be
a mighty tall order, Frank.

366
00:19:25,705 --> 00:19:28,249
This city is the tuba capital
of the world.

367
00:19:28,416 --> 00:19:30,877
I know, Ed.
It's the only chance we got.

368
00:19:34,422 --> 00:19:36,633
- Ed, you find anything?
- No, nothing.

369
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,520
Frank, we've been
through hundreds of these.

370
00:19:38,593 --> 00:19:41,971
Acme Tuba, Tuba World,
Tubas Are Us...

371
00:19:42,138 --> 00:19:43,723
Can you take a phone call,
Captain?

372
00:19:43,848 --> 00:19:45,642
Not now, Al!

373
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:47,936
International House of Tubas,

374
00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:51,564
Tuba or Not Tuba, Tuba Legation.

375
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,983
Ah, we've come to a dead end, Frank.

376
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,069
I thought sure we'd come up
with something by now.

377
00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:59,489
You're too hard on yourself, Ed.
We've only got an hour to rescue Terri.

378
00:19:59,614 --> 00:20:01,950
You'd better check
your sources, Frank.

379
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,160
Find out what
the word on the street is.

380
00:20:04,327 --> 00:20:06,329
Frankly, I think
that's our only chance.

381
00:20:06,746 --> 00:20:09,082
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

382
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:14,421
[SUSPENSEFUL TUBA MUSIC]

383
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,552
Johnny?

384
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:23,012
Now, I need some information
and I need it fast.

385
00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:26,141
You mean about this
kidnapped girl, Terri Burton?

386
00:20:26,307 --> 00:20:29,352
What do you know about tuba stores
located near gas stations?

387
00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:30,770
Nothing.

388
00:20:30,937 --> 00:20:32,814
But they just opened up
a new tuba club

389
00:20:32,939 --> 00:20:34,899
and that's near a gas station.

390
00:20:35,024 --> 00:20:36,192
Where is it?

391
00:20:37,318 --> 00:20:39,654
It's called the El Tubadero Club.

392
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:41,698
It's near Fifth and National.

393
00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:43,074
Thanks, Johnny.

394
00:20:51,499 --> 00:20:53,501
It's my pitching, Johnny.

395
00:20:53,668 --> 00:20:55,754
Do you think I need
another starter?

396
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,797
How should I know?

397
00:21:01,384 --> 00:21:02,969
The rig ours of a full season

398
00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:05,680
on a four man rotation
are just too demanding.

399
00:21:06,681 --> 00:21:10,894
You need a left-handed swing man
to fill your long relief spot.

400
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:15,148
Give him an occasional start
and it'll round out your staff nicely.

401
00:21:15,273 --> 00:21:17,650
You're talking about a guy like Gossage,
aren't you, Johnny?

402
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,819
Oh, come on, Tommy,
use your head!

403
00:21:19,944 --> 00:21:23,865
Gossage is right-handed and besides,
he can't throw more than two innings.

404
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:31,498
Here's the names of five southpaws
with career ERA'S under 2.93.

405
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:36,211
And you wouldn't have been in this mess
if you hadn't given up Tommy John.

406
00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:55,647
[DOOR OPENING]

407
00:21:55,772 --> 00:21:57,357
[EXCLAIMING]

408
00:21:59,317 --> 00:22:02,195
This is the police.
Put your gun down and surrender.

409
00:22:02,362 --> 00:22:03,655
[GUN FIRING]

410
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:05,073
[TERRI SCREAMING]

411
00:22:09,035 --> 00:22:10,870
[WOMAN SCREAMING]

412
00:22:25,593 --> 00:22:27,637
He's holding the girl hostage.

413
00:22:27,804 --> 00:22:30,265
I'm going over there, Frank,
and try to get behind him.

414
00:22:30,431 --> 00:22:31,558
Cover me.

415
00:23:01,337 --> 00:23:03,256
Come down with your hands up.

416
00:23:03,381 --> 00:23:06,384
You'll never take me alive.

417
00:23:08,094 --> 00:23:12,056
Oh, you wanna play it tough, huh?
Well, two can play at that game.

418
00:23:12,223 --> 00:23:13,975
[SCREAMS]

419
00:23:24,861 --> 00:23:25,945
All right.

420
00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:28,114
Get up!

421
00:23:28,281 --> 00:23:29,407
Oh.

422
00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:31,034
Oh, thank you! Thank you!

423
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:32,785
You saved my life!

424
00:23:32,952 --> 00:23:35,163
It's all right.
It's all right now.

425
00:23:35,288 --> 00:23:36,789
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]

426
00:23:38,374 --> 00:23:39,918
[TERRI] Thames!

427
00:23:40,043 --> 00:23:41,461
Why?

428
00:23:43,504 --> 00:23:45,715
Because I needed the money.

429
00:23:46,257 --> 00:23:49,135
Frank, the black and white is here.

430
00:24:00,563 --> 00:24:03,163
[HOCKEN] Thank you, Commissioner,
but I can't take all the credit.

431
00:24:03,232 --> 00:24:05,318
The entire Police Squad
was in on this one.

432
00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:07,070
Right.

433
00:24:07,236 --> 00:24:08,947
Well, Frank, it's been a good day.

434
00:24:09,072 --> 00:24:10,907
We got a confession
out of old zoo breath.

435
00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:12,158
What? Oh.

436
00:24:12,325 --> 00:24:13,826
[LAUGHING] Good.

437
00:24:13,993 --> 00:24:16,204
I was just going over
the arraignment report.

438
00:24:16,371 --> 00:24:18,247
It looks like the butler Thames

439
00:24:18,414 --> 00:24:20,976
will be doing his serving from now on
up in the Stateville Prison.

440
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:25,254
Along with Martin, Dutch Gunderson,
Lana and Sally Decker.

441
00:24:25,421 --> 00:24:28,383
Frank, when will people learn
that crime doesn't pay?

442
00:24:28,549 --> 00:24:32,512
Well, I suppose if they do learn,
we'll be out of a job.

443
00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:52,615
[MALE NARRATOR] Be sure to tune in
next week for another exciting story

444
00:24:52,740 --> 00:24:55,368
from the files of Police Squad!